TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY

 We are winding another year down: 6 days till Christmas, 12 days till 2022! With the Big day within our grasp, the pandemic raises it’s ugly head again - snarling, snapping, spreading anxiety and fear. 

Tidings of comfort and joy seem far, far away. For some of us, Joy is not the emotion that comes to mind. We have had to let go of so much: freedom, hugs, social interaction without a care, connection and community, big raucous parties and concerts. 

We lost dear ones too. My good friend April passed away this summer. In our community we have lost generous and kind hearted people. I’m providing grief and bereavement support to a man who lost his wife of 60 years. 60 YEARS. 

In the midst of this I believe comfort and joy can still be found. You may have to look deep and focus. You may find it only lasts for a brief second, but there, in the midst of the darkness the light shines, the comfort comes.

Find comfort and joy in the littlest of things:

The beauty of a fresh snow fall, sparkling in the winter sun

The delicate wonder of light and colour 

Take comfort in a moment: a sip of fresh hot coffee, the gentle sigh of a dog or a cat’s purr. 

Take joy in that moment when your child smiles or a baby’s laughter. 

There is great joy in giving: give your time, your love, your patience.

On Dec. 22, the earth tilts and the days will begin to get longer. That’s a comforting thought! 

In the midst of the aching loss, you can, without guilt, find these small offerings of comfort and joy. This is my wish for you this season and in the coming year.

 

HOLY ZINGER!

 Christmas has come around again. Not even a pandemic can stop it! It’s the time on earth where we can shout with the angels “ peace, joy and goodwill to all men”. 

So rightly we acknowledge the birth of Jesus at Christmas and the universal affect His arrival meant to this little blue planet. 

But I want to jump ahead in His timeline to closer to the end of His life on earth, as I understand, when He was just in His early 30s. 

He’s grown into an intriguing, fascinating man. He’s got a pretty good following and an equal amount of enemies He’s ticked off. Sometimes He speaks in parables, sometimes He speaks straight up and sometimes He drops the mike with a Holy Zinger.

The religious leaders of the day, the very ones you would think would be backing the King of the Jews, have some suspicions about this young upstart. 

So they conspire on how to trap Him. They start with a little sugar. “We know that you are sincere, and teach God’s way truthfully, that you treat everyone the same and don’t play favourites. So tell us, is it permissible under Jewish law to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” 

I can almost hear Jesus’ exasperated sigh. Perhaps a slight rolling of the eyes…

“Why are you testing me, you hypocrites. Show me the money…(they hand over a coin). “Whose likeness and inscription is on it?” 

“Caesars” they reply. 

Jesus replies, “then give to Caesar what is Caesars, and to God what is Gods.” BAZINGA. 

The religious leaders are speechless and shuffle on out of there. 

You may know Jesus as just a little babe in a manger. You might envision him as a strict legalistic, no-fun kinda guy. But He was so much more. He had all the time in the world for the rough-around the edge, broken humanity and very little patience with the Spiritual Giants of the day. And He could really dish out a Holy Zinger!

IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN!

 I’m dating myself, but Peanuts “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” was always a favourite. This TV special came out in 1966 if you can believe it - over 50 years ago! Linus will be happy to know pumpkin is still reigning supreme and seems we are as smitten as ever. 

We went with Randi to take the Little Prince and Princess out to pick the perfect pumpkin. 

And after some serious debate regarding the shapes of eyes and noses, Soren requested a one-eyed “poison” pumpkin and I went with a googled-eyed cat

But pumpkin’s lure goes beyond Halloween and Jack-o-Lanterns! What about all those “pumpkin spice” chai teas or lattes? Did you know you can get pumpkin spice Cheerios?? I can see a few of you rolling your eyes. 

Although I don’t stop into Starbucks very often, I do get caught into that spicy orange goodness. I pick up a little pumpkin, bake it and blend to make a nice batch of pumpkin purée. Then comes Pumpkin Thai soup - made with coconut milk and jalapeño peppers! 

I made pumpkin cookies - some with chocolate, some with nuts and raisins

I still had a bit of pumpkin purée left so one morning I added a spoonful to my Oatmeal. Ok…if you are a pumpkin pie fan this will be up your alley! Topped with maple syrup, cinnamon and some cashew/coconut milk, it was like warm pumpkin pie first thing in the morning! OMGP- Oh My Great Pumpkin!

Finally, let’s consider the straight goods: it is a good source of vitamin C, E, iron and folate - all excellent for your immune system to help ward off those nasty germs. It is high in fibre and low in carbs and sugar too!

Linus was on to something. Pumpkin Is Great! 

WHAT’S ON THE TABLE?

 Last weekend was the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday. We are slowly edging our way back into extended family meals and I offered to cook.

So cook I did!

Fresh roasted turkey with stuffing, potatoes, beans, roasted squash and Brussels sprouts, corn and a rich gravy to top it all off. My parents brought a beautiful ham and pumpkin pie plus I had an apple pie. 

It was a lovely meal and the table was full of good things.

The day before, Sheldon and I took a drive to Westport and stopped at a Winery for lunch. 

I had a glass of wine and salad - that’s it.

It too was a lovely meal.

If you are blessed, you have a lot on your table: a home, health, family,  food. You have a job, money in the bank, friends, a good faithful dog.

But I’m sure you’ve noticed, on occasion, things get removed from the table. You may lose your job, your marriage, that good faithful dog. 

Sometimes we choose to take something off the table, but it is much harder when we don’t have a choice! 

For people with a life limiting illness, the buffet options can slowly and painfully become smaller. They may lose their physical health, then their job and financial security, their independence. The same as we age we may notice the table getting sparse. 

It’s a good exercise to think about what’s important to you. Look at what’s on your table right now. What if something had to be taken off - which would you choose. What does your life look like without the full turkey dinner with all the trimmings. 

When we become ill, our goals can become very basic and focused. A walk around the block, a visit with the children, or maybe just getting to the bathroom and back. A salad and a glass of wine. 

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes you have a banquet, sometimes you are down to toast and tea. Reflecting on what’s important to you will help you make decisions and feel more in control. 

 

APPRECIATION POST!

 I’m one of those fortunate humans that get to call themselves “Canadians”. We have freedom, abundance, peace and such breath-taking beauty!

Last weekend I went on a Mudpuppy trip with my friend Kelly. We canoed into Joe Perry Lake in Bon Echo for a girls weekend getaway. 

As one who normally feels the cold, I have never camped out past August and was not too sure how I would fare in a tent in late September!

I fared just great! 

Armed with sleeping bag, blanket, pants/shirt/sweater, socks and a toque I was warm enough as the temperature dropped down to 6 degrees celcius. Kelly provided a couple of hot pockets that I threw in the sleeping bag for an added bonus warmth. Appreciation shout out to Kelly!

We were fortunate as well to have some great weather, other than a bit of rain at night. That was much appreciated!

And the beauty of Canada in September!

I was also surprised by the peace and quiet. Normally there is a lot going on in the woods in the morning - birds, ducks, frogs, insects all crying for breakfast at the same time.

But in September, other than a lazy hum and the occasional loon call, all is calm. 

We are not perfect, and have our struggles and issues, but truly, we are a blessed nation. 

WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER

 There were a lot of details. We needed everyone to be well, available and travelling a safe possibility.

Four separate families all trying to get together at the same place and at the same time. 

In the midst of a pandemic no less! 

And we pulled it off! I had booked a big cottage for the week at Lucky Lake and invited both of my children with their respective families. My daughter-in-law’s parents joined as well. For the first time I was able to have all 3 of my grandchildren together. 

We had sunny days playing on the beach

And rainy days spent inside with stories 

We had beautiful sunsets

As well as crisp, quiet misty mornings

There were loud and raucous boat rides!

As well as some deep after dinner conversations

We had lots of smiles!

And the occasional pouts!

Even Lulu got some quality time exploring

All the moments and memories are stored away

I love it when a plan comes together!

SAYING GOODBYE WITH YELLOW ROSES

 It’s no secret I’m not good at goodbyes. I tend to hold on to those of you who embed themselves in my heart and take up residence.

April and I worked closely together, sharing the same job. Nearly every morning, we would touch base via video (COVID you know) to follow up on palliative patients we worked with and their families, making sure the ball was not dropped as we passed it. 

“Good Morning April! How was your night? Anything you need to tell me before I take over?”

“Morning Cyndi! I’m OK but last night my arm went numb - had to go to emergency to get checked out! Thought I was having a stroke!”

“Oh no! How are you feeling now? Your arm still numb?”

“Yeah, it is. I’m booked for an MRI next week. Could only happen to me!”

That was a turning point, about 6 weeks ago. April went for her MRI late on a Friday night and when I checked in the next morning she told me she was on her way to Kingston. 

Then she was admitted.

Then there was a biopsy.

Then there was the diagnosis. All in about a week’s time. An aggressive and inoperable brain cancer. April was 37 years old. 

Still, she was young and strong and ready to fight with chemo and radiation even though the doctors told her this was a terminal diagnosis. She was given the hopeful news this tumour often reacted well to the chemotherapy. But only 3 treatments in, she seizured and was rushed back to Kingston to be admitted. 

Sweet beautiful April passed away 6 weeks after her diagnosis. Though I’m no stranger to grief,  the shock hit me hard. She was like a daughter to me and I had hoped we would have at least a year to say goodbye. I continued to work the day at the office, trying to stay busy and doing mindless tasks. 

Her incredible family flew in from all over: some from out West, some from Ontario and some from Newfoundland where she was born. There were a lot of them and a couple of days after her death,  I stopped into April’s place to meet them, handing over a box of her personal belongings from the office. One sounds just like her, one has her eyes, all have her Down east warmth. I said goodbye to her voice, to her eyes, to her wit and accent. Tonka, her Husky sat dejectedly on the porch and only perked up when I handed over some fruit and muffins. 

When I got home from work that day after hearing the news of her death, I found my roses had suddenly exploded into blooms, especially the yellow ones. Yellow roses are a symbol of warmth and friendship. 

I’m not good with goodbyes April. I will miss you and never forget you! Thank you for the beautiful roses. 

HOLIDAY-GETAWAY

With this pandemic shadowing our universe for over a year now most of us, including myself have spent a lot of time hunkered down at home. 

But a change of scenery is a good thing for our emotional, spiritual and physical health! This past month we were able take a few days at Niagara-On-The-Lake for our 35th wedding anniversary and then a week at a cottage,  just the things for a pick-me-up! A Holiday-Getaway! Warning: Pic-heavy Blog Ahead

Niagara-On-The-Lake is a pretty and pretty classic tourist town. It was busy, but COVID protocols were firmly in place with masking and limited numbers in stores.

Who can resist a store full of every imaginable candy or fresh-made Gelato? 

Not me!!

We watched a storm hover over Lake Ontario

And a great dinner out was a must!

Just as pretty, but much, MUCH quieter, was our time at the cottage.

Nothing but water, sky, trees and rock

Morning coffee could last for over an hour!

And I tried my hand at acrylic painting 

At least the brick turned out…

I also burnt my belly !! Ouch - pass the Aloe Vera Stat!!

Still, it is good be be back home to my cats and familiar comforts. 

I hope you get some slow summer time to refresh and rejuvenate, either away to new surroundings or at home. Go out for a great meal, try a new hobby and linger with your coffee. But make sure you pack your suntan lotion!

WHEN GOD SAID “NO”

 

There’s a story you can find in both Mark and Luke about a man Jesus heals and sets free. The story goes he was possessed by so many demons they called themselves “Legion”. He lived among the tombs, naked and chained. But many times the demons would take control and he would break the chains. When  Jesus and the disciples find him in this tortured state “Legion” knows the gig is up. They beg Jesus (repeatedly) to not order them into the Abyss; let them go into a herd of pigs nearby. Permission is granted and the pigs rush into a lake and drown. I often wonder what happened to Legion after that…but the man is now set free. Now he sits at Jesus feet, clothed and in his right mind. Peace and freedom are finally his. This man wants only one thing; to stay with Jesus and follow him. Like the demons, he begs Jesus for this request.

But Jesus says “No.” 

He sends him away saying “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” Luke 8:39. 

It seems like a small and reasonable request to me, for this man to stay with the one who brought him such freedom after years of torment. Still the answer is “No”. This man did what Jesus asked and went around his home town telling everyone of the miraculous second chance provided to him. 

I often tell young moms raising little ones to let your Yes be Yes and your No be No. As well, as much as possible, say Yes, only say No when you really have to. 

Say Yes when they want that third story before bed. Say yes when they want to run out in the rain and jump in a puddle, even though it means an inconvenience to you and more laundry. 

But when you really need to, say No. 

Because you can see the bigger picture and you know the outcome. 

There are times when God gives me the “No” answer, even if the request seems oh so reasonable, even if it is my heart’s desire and I beg him like the man who wants nothing more than to be with Jesus. 

I trust him. He hasn’t failed me yet. I might keep on asking and maybe that’s part of the process. Maybe when the time is right He will say “Yes”. Maybe the answer will always be No. 

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need. 

PEACE IN THE PARK

 There’s something very peaceful about time spent by the water. In fact many studies justify and confirm the calming effect on our body, mind and soul. 

Like many communities, ours has a beautiful body of water that we tuck up against. When I have time in the morning before work, I take a bike ride around the trails by the Bay. The air is still tinged with the coolness of the passing night as I glide along the path.

There are lots of inviting benches to stop at. Apparently when our mind is calm and allowed to wander, it unlocks our best problem solving abilities. So the next time you are trying to surpass that mountain, please, take a seat and stare at the water for a bit. 

As I gain speed and pass underneath the bridge the pigeons are cooing and checking out their best echos under the massive concrete pillars.

I pass a heron posing on a lone rock

And, a gaggle of goslings off to school - the school of life that is.

Most of the boats are all still sleeping in the harbour. But a few people are up and about. I pass a young woman with a black poodle, trimmed in the classic French style. There are two elderly men walking together; one tall, one short. There is a tiny elderly woman alone taking careful but determined little steps. She’s adorable and gives me a quick little smile. 

This is the dog park  and if I were a dog, I’d be pretty excited about running amuck in there myself!

Time is ticking and my day job (and a cup of coffee) is calling. I can hear the train whistle in the distance and pick up the pace to get across the tracks before I get caught having to wait. 

Back home, with my coffee in the garden, I’m grateful for these simple pleasures: a bike ride, a body that still works well enough to ride it, a cup of coffee, the beauty of a summer morning and peace in the park. 

#QUINTE COMPASSION

 I follow a local Facebook page that focuses on our community’s local history. It’s filled with amazing photos, stories, facts and memories. I read one about a woman during the depression who lived near the train tracks. She would have coffee and sandwiches on hand for hobos. This opened up a thread of so many in our community, including my grandmother who ensured there was food to hand out when they would come to the back door. 

My husband tells me one man who drops off deliveries at our house and always leave a dog treat on the top of the box for Lulu. 

And what about all those porch drop offs of food and little pick-me-up gifts during the pandemic? 

The Latin meaning for compassion is “co-suffering.” We relate to another’s situation and sympathize with them. We are moved to help and do what we can to relieve suffering. It involves kindness and mercy. 

I value compassion deeply and love to see it expressed. The other day when we stopped down at L’Auberge de France, a little French restaurant downtown, they had a bowl of water outside for thirsty dogs

Thank you L’Auberge for this small act of kindness!

On my bike ride home there is this bin outside of a house:

Thank you resident on Charlotte street for showing compassion to others in need!

There is an international movement called “Compassionate Communities”.  In Canada it is led by Pallium and you can read about it here: https://www.pallium.ca/compassionate-communities/

Wouldn’t it be great to create a culture that values compassion? That teaches our children the importance of considering others and showing kindness to all living things, including animals? What if we honoured our weak and vulnerable, protecting them and doing what we can to help? Something as simple as putting water out for the local dogs?

Maybe we can avoid in the future, such tragedies as the loss of 215 little children, pulled from their homes and families.

I want to acknowledge those in our community who show kindness and compassion. If I hear or see something I will #QuinteCompassion and celebrate it! I encourage you to join me or let me know and I will give them a shoutout. 

I WANT A REPLAY ON MAY!

 Well, it’s May 24. Only 7 days left in the month of May, one of my favourite months. 

I want a replay, a round 2, a do-over. 

Let me state my case...

Gone is the sharp, biting cold wind. I’m greeted with May’s gentle honeysuckle and lilac scented caress. 

I gather this abundance into not one but three vases

It has a Mother’s Heart. Through my open windows I can hear baby birds squawking, and mother robins chirping warnings and precautions. “Stay in the bushes Junior - don’t go on the lawn!”

There are trees the colour of fuchsia

We can eat “al fresco” on the back deck

And Barbecue Everything

I spend a lot of time in the garden; digging, weeding, planting, potting. Then I have coffee every morning enjoying the view and all my efforts. 

In 7 more days, May will be gone and June will sashay in holding the summer banner high. 

I will have to wait another 11 months for another May. 

Can’t we rewind and have a replay on May?