Sunday, May 5, 2013

Best Watch Those Quiet Ones!

We have just returned from a week long trip. I have been trying to adjust to 3 different time zones in 7 days. It began with a flight out to Kelowna where we met up with friends and our daughter who was returning from Japan, from there we went to Banff and then to Calgary to visit family before we flew home. Just one week away from the commonality of daily life. The routine and sometimes drab things I do every, cleaning, working, etc. 

But let me be honest here.
I get so terribly homesick.....this aching in my heart for my home and comforts therein. I've learned to push it back, ignore it, while I am away or I will hardly enjoy my adventure elsewhere. When I know the day has arrived for our return home it hits me like waves, flooding over me, this longing need to be home and I can not contain it. 

I asked my daughter on our return flight her perspective. Here is a girl who barely stays in one place long enough to root. She has lived all over and right now her residence is still only temporary with some time in Canada before she then flies off to work in England. "Don't you miss home?" I ask.
To her, home is not really a place. It is wherever she is and is feeling comfortable.

Soo....not me.

I'm one of those quiet ones, with deep emotions rumbling around underneath one would never know about. It is not only places I attach to, but people, animals, occasionally even things. 
I feel everything so deeply, passionately and I cry on hellos and goodbyes. You may think some balance is in order. Get a grip girl! I would have to agree. This is a very painful way to live. If you are gonna love big, you are gonna grieve big and believe me, I feel the intensity of emotion. Alas, "IyamwhatIyam" as Popeye would say. 

So when we finally drove into the driveway, there in front of my little house, I teared up as I opened the all familiar door. Hugged and petted my cats, touched the light switches fondly, nearly burst into tears at the sight of my dog Amelia. I went through every room, slowly, drinking in all the things I've missed. Tomorrow, I will go back to work. I can hardly wait. I will probably go in early. 

You would never know it because I'm one of those quiet ones, with still waters running deep and roots entangled into everything. 

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