LOVE IN THE TIME OF COVID

We've been watching a pair of doves care for their babies  in the backyard. They built their nest precariously in the crook of a tree close to our deck. Doves have two babies at a time and are generally monogamous. Look closely - you can see the two little ones tucked in with Mom (or Dad). We watched as they have switched off on nest duty, fed them and did their best to keep them safe from squirrels and other birds swooping around. A pandemic makes no difference to them. It is still a difficult job raising a family.

My son and his wife are soon-to-be first time parents! 

They have been maneuvering the risky business of pregnancy during a pandemic. As well, Carolyn works in health care. This is love in the time of COVID-19. They have had to be extra careful, with no celebrations and buying what they needed to build their  nest on line. 

We had planned to fly out to B.C. to meet the baby soon after the birth. But we have decided to postpone for now, not wanting to risk a flight and bringing something into their home with a newborn. My heart is aching to meet this new Little Prince and to spend some time Adrian and Carolyn. But this is love in the time of COVID - distant, virtual, untouchable. 

I know the path ahead is still a long one. That we have not conquered this virus yet. But we are making progress! 

Love can not be stopped by a pandemic. It is still patient and kind, it does not envy or boast; it is not proud or rude. It is not self-seeking or easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trust, hopes and perseveres. (1 Cor. 13)

We are living in difficult times. Let's continue to Love in this time of COVID.

MARCO.....POLO

I love when the Forget-Me-Nots show up each spring in the garden. But this year, they were getting carried away and taking liberties. 

I was trying to find a few other plants that were getting lost in the blue riot. It was like a game of Marco Polo.  

Me searching through the blue mass: "MARCO"
Struggling Echinacea: "Polo!"
I stripped half the party out to let echinacea breathe.

Then I thought I would see what's happening in the back yard. I had moved my strawberry plant into a pot to be safe from Mr. Bunny. 

Me looking for any signs of berries: "MARCO!"

Baby Strawberries: "POLO!"

My Mom was showing me some old pics and this one was in the bunch:

My 9th birthday. A flourescent light exploded in the kitchen (random) all over my cake and spaghetti sauce that had been simmering on the stove. I'm extraordinarily happy considering my birthday dinner was ruined and quick replacements had to be found. But where is that smiling, innocent little girl gone? Is she still around?

Me: "Marco?"

A small little voice inside replied: "Polo"

Some things that are hiding in these pandemic days can still be found. Some seem lost forever. 

How about shaking hands, hugs, road trips, concerts and big celebrations. 

Me: "MARCO!"........

What happened to the busy office buzz and raucous laughter in the kitchen at lunch?

"MARCO!"........

We are slowly, slowly coming out of this full-stop pandemic time. Some things will never be the same. Some things may even be better. And some things will come back, feel familiar and be greatly welcomed.

"Polo"

HOW TO SPEND YOUR VACATION IN A LOCKDOWN

We all know the deal right now. Keep your distance, wash your hands, limit your contact. Only go out if you must. Stay home - stay safe. Not conducive to travelling and sight-seeing, shopping, dinners out or anything one would normally do on a vacation!

I himmed and hawed on whether or not to cancel my upcoming week off but in the end, decided to go ahead with it. I had some lofty goals to start learning a new language but in the end, I fell back on the comforts of home: cooking!

I tried out a couple new recipes.

Peanutbutter chocolate chip shortbread

They hit all the high notes for me. Will definitely be making them again!

I also tried my hand at Drunken Noodles. 

I made them with tofu in keeping with Sheldon's present vegan diet and although this was a good meal, I feel it needs some tweaking!

Might as well tackle some spring cleaning! 

Cleaning windows is like instant gratification. I would recommend this in the lockdown vacation tourism book.

Finally, the weatherman advised Jack Frost had finally packed his bags so I got busy in the garden! I dug up my strawberries and decided to put them in a little planter, safe from the bunnies who eat the berries. I also bought myself a Lemon Tree! Always wanted one so thought I would give it a go!

Got the gazebo comfy and ready for chillaxing, and the flowers tucked into planters. 

Gardening is a GREAT way to spend vacation time, lock down or not. I even had a few new visitors!

A rose breasted grosbeak and I even saw a Blue bunting!

 

Finally, I did get to spend some quality time with my daughter, son-in-law and of course the Little Prince. I confess, I hugged him for the first time in two months. There's only so much a Nona can take.

So, if you are like me, and your vacation is in lockdown, try some new recipes, get some spring cleaning done, hang out in the garden and make new friends. But next year - Paris, here I come!!

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

This was taken in 1989. My daughter Randi (7-10 months old?) and Awesome Dawson. If it was in colour the peach and green scheme would have given it away. Have you ever tried to do laundry with a baby? How about with a baby and a cat? As I recall, the one in charge here was Dawson. As fast as I would try to put laundry away he would be in there messing about. And Randi was just distracting adorable eye candy!

Somebody has to take the wheel, somebody has to be in charge, somebody has to make a decision. And with that, I'm segueing into the importance of Consent! 

When it comes to a health crisis and you find yourself in the stressful situation of having to determine the course of action, there are a few options. 

If you have your faculties (capable) and are able to communicate, the one in charge is YOU. For example, Dr. Mustard will show up and say "Scarlett, you have a few options: surgery, a new medication trial or we can send you home with palliative support and care." YOU need to ask some important questions, get the pros and cons of your options, be informed. Bounce it off other professionals and family (Proverbs 15:22). 

But, if you are out cold or mumbling away in a Delirium somebody else will be in charge for you. In Ontario everyone has an automatic  Substitute Decision Maker (SDM). No paperwork required unless you want to change that.

See that green part? Those are the automatic SDMs. First off will be your spouse/partner and if you are divorced or single it would move to your Parent or children. 

So if your spouse is aware of what's your version of quality of life and can keep a cool head under stressful situations and knows to get the facts on the options that's the guy/gal for you! But what if you are divorced and have a teenager at the helm? You only need to be 16 to make life altering decisions for another person. What if you are down to siblings. And there is 3 of them. And they can't agree on anything? If you are starting to freak out just calm down. When your options are dicey you can appoint your own Power of Attorney (POA) and they now trump all the automatics and will be the one in charge. You don't need a lawyer to establish a POA. You do need to sign it voluntarily, with two witnesses on hand and they also need to sign it. Info on POAs can be found here:

https:\\www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/pgt/poa.pdf

Consenting to a course of action in a medical emergency can be very, VERY stressful. I'd rather do laundry with a baby and a cat, but with some candid discussions and pre-planning (see my last Blog on Life's Non-Negotiables) you or your SDM can make the best informed decision possible. 

LIFE'S NON-NEGOTIABLES

In Ontario, we are about half-way through the total lock-down and the call to arms is "Stay Home". Our Prime Minister, in his most soothing tone of voice is doing his best to keep all the children calm and behaving well. 

We are all feeling the effects: our quality of life is imposed upon and our freedom to do what we want, where we want and when we want is whittled down to the confines of our abodes.

Which leads me to the point of this blog - what is your idea of quality of life? What makes you get up in the morning and gives you meaning and direction? What is a non-negotiable for you?

This is my nuclear family - a pic taken before they all left me, got married and started working on their own little branches in the tree. 

This is a non-negotiable for me - family. That would include my fur babies as well!

So is spending time outside. I need fresh air, flowers, the sound and feel of the wind. I also have an inherited strong independent streak the I've never been able to shake. 

If you removed these my reasons for living, my quality of life, would be greatly diminished. I would likely begin to fade. 

This past week we acknowledged Advance Care Planning Day. The point of Advance Care Planning is to let your Substitute Decision Maker know what is important to you, what are you willing to compromise on and what is a non-negotiable. If you are in a situation where you are unable to speak for yourself, your Substitute Decision Maker will be speaking for you. So when a Health crisis arises and the medical team is offering up the options and the possible outcomes, your SDM will know what makes you tick and can give consent to the best medical care that aligns with your goals and wishes. It is a CONVERSATION, not a written in stone order. And one you should review regularly! When I was 15, a pack of Player's Lights in my purse was considered quality of life. Not so much anymore! Things Change! It may be should I live another 30 years I will be happy with a kiss from my grandson, a cat on my lap and a small garden. 

Every part of life, even the final chapters, is important. Have the Conversation and ensure your Substitute Decision Maker knows what is important to you and what are your non-negotiables.

MARCH MADNESS

What a month this has been. I've seen a few in my day; never one like the March we are at the end of!

This cartoon is hanging up in the hallway at the office. A month ago, it would not have meant much to anyone, but we all get the punchline now don't we!

March is supposed to be the month we kick winter to the curb. We normally take a communal interest in the weather: March goes in like a Lamb - out like a Lion. Feels more like there is a panther called COVID-19 around: dark, silently stalking and ready to pounce. 

There is a sense of waiting for the other foot to drop. You can't trust anyone within 6 feet of you, in fact you can't even trust yourself! On March 11 in Ontario, we had 137 confirmed cases. Today, on March 29 we have 1324 confirmed cases. We have a national Quarantine Order in place with stiff fines and jail time for those who don't take it seriously. Gatherings of 5 people or more are prohibited. We are all working hard to stomp out this wild-fire virus. 

Yet, the most amazing things are happening. Community is growing in the midst of isolation. Some friends of mine read stories live on Facebook. A couple of nights ago I got to watch a very animated version of "Green Eggs and Ham" - thanks Lockwoods!! There are little surprises left on doorstops - flowers and food. Our Healthcare workers are serenaded with a cacophony of banging pans, hoots and thundering ovations. We acknowledge the "little guy", those working gas stations, groceries and truckers. 

I snapped this pic stating the church is "closed til further notice." But let's be clear - the church BUILDING is closed, not the church! 

The church, the Body of Christ, is still alive and well. The Fruits of the Spirit - Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Self Control and Patience seem to be growing exponentially! 

At the beginning of the year, a few of the ladies at church were praying, asking God for a Word regarding the year ahead. One was "Reboot" another "Courage". Mine was "Transition." Of course we thought these were personal, not universal! 

We are all in this together. Let's continue to encourage, support and watch out for one another!

TRYING TO KEEP THINGS NORMAL

I don't think I've ever written something that everyone in the universe with the ability to read can relate to - until now. 

The coronavirus or COVID has now spread its tentacles into almost every part of the earth, including here in Canada where I live. As of right now in Ontario the stats indicate a steady rise in confirmed cases. The government is putting stringent measures in place and along with good health practices we are encouraged to self quarantine or social distancing, regardless of whether symptoms or travel play a part. Our borders will likely be closed within the week. Toilet paper has inexplicably become a hot commodity and many community events are being cancelled. I work in Healthcare and I can expect health screening before I walk in the door and quite likely I will soon be asked to work from home. 

It's a Mad, MAD world right now. 

A few years ago I blogged about living a mundane life. How we carry on with our day-to-day routine and as boring as that may be, it can be a gift. 

Well, right now, boring, mundane, normal sound pretty good to me!  

Yesterday, my neighbour hung up some laundry. Just looking at that line of flannel was a memorable, normal comfort.

Spring is still coming, COVID or not. On my morning walk the Robins, crows, red-wing blackbirds and doves all raised their usual morning chorus.

My daffodils are well on their way!

Nothing has changed with my morning coffee routine:

Me, coffee, a blanket and slippers, a cat on my lap and a dog at my feet. All very normal.

So I wanted to encourage you all, in the midst of the chaos and feeling out of control, find the normal things to ground in. Feel free to post pictures of your regularly-scheduled life, not the ones of empty shelves where TP should be. 

We are all affected by this virus and our lives will likely be different when we come out from underneath it's grasp.

But in the meantime, let's try to keep things normal. Much love - stay safe