CONFESSIONS

They say confession is good for the soul. Which is true, and has been working for centuries for the catholics. I'm not catholic but I'm ready to come clean on a few things. So here goes....

I love the smell of Brute cologne (makes me feel 15 again)
I hate ABBA. I think Mama Mia is one of the most pathetic movies ever made.
I have a bad habit of leaving cupboard doors open.
Jesus really is my Home Boy.
I could eat a box of Captain Crunch, dry by the handful, or with milk. Doesn't matter.
I will never have country music on my I-Pod. Never.
I love to go vimming. If you don't know what that means you can ask me, I might confess.
I'm physically cold about 360 days a year, which means I love all things that can attempt to keep me warm.

Slippers, blankets, dogs, frumpy sweaters, whatever it takes which is usually all of the above.
I get up at the same time every day of the year except when I'm at the cottage. 
I'm a nibbler.
I am not a shopper.
I'm addicted to the items indicated below.

I am a cat and dog person. I am not a spider or owl person.
I have a very deep and solid faith, but still, I can not understand why sometimes timing seems so perfect and why sometimes it seems so wrong.
I do not like reading romantic novels but I do love watching romantic movies. I have no explanation for this so I'm going to categorize it under being female.
If given the option to go out with a bunch of people or stay home alone, I will probably choose the stay home alone. 
That is about as vulnerable as I feel like getting today. I feel so much better! Thanks for listening!

MOUNTAIN TOPS AND VALLEYS

It is a typical November day today in Ontario- gray, damp and drab. The startlingly bright colours of fall are either gone or sleeping in muted tones on the grass. The trees are looking fragile and delicate with their bare and exposed limbs. One wonders how they survive the brutal cold that is coming their way.

But they do.

They take on the cold, the ice and the wind like stalwart soldiers. They lose a few branches on the way, some even fall altogether. They endure the valley experience of winter. Then the spring comes with new life and they begin to make their way out of the valley, up the mountain top to better times of summer.

And we do the same.

It has been a difficult year for many. We have lost so many good people. I have been to more funerals this year alone than I have my whole life. Just recently another young man in the church passed away suddenly. He was not even 40, and just starting to turn his life around. I have people I work with who are struggling with the mysteries of raising their children. And I know how very hard that is! If they were all the same I could provide pat answers to them all, as I've raised two and helped to raise about 7 other teenagers who have lived with us over the past 10 years. My best advice? Pray - everyday. That's what I did, cause at times, I had no idea what to do. There is a proverb that says if any of you lacks wisdom, just ask. So I did - a lot.

Today, I woke up to find out a dear friend of ours fell off his roof and is now in hospital with numerous injuries. Another valley experience for himself, his family and friends. I'm praying he heals quick like a 20 year old, as opposed to the 40 year old body he is in!

Led Zeppelin sang a song "good times, bad times, you know I've had my share". The universal human experience. Be gentle with each other people, we are all going through valleys and mountain top times.

TURNING THE BIG FIVE-0

Been a big week around here for me...yup. I somehow made it to 50. If you have not yet reached that milestone, or as a lady I know who is well into her 60's puts it "an accomplishment", then you might be wondering what does it feel like, knowing you are occupying a body that is 1/2 a century old. 

From a physical point of view, I feel Great! I'm in excellent shape and in excellent health. I have always tried to look after this shell I'm in so I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Now I know there are things beyond my control that can hit anytime but I've tried to steward well what I have and the results are good. So, First piece of advice - look after yourself physically!
Wrinkles? Yes! Gray Hair - heck ya! Back flips out of the question? Probably as I never really mastered those, but with a little work I'm sure I could still pull off a cartwheel. 

I have been asked a few times how I feel about it - do I feel different. Not really. I have always been introspective so I did take some time to assess my position and honestly they only thing that kinda freaked me out was the fact that I am not in my 40s anymore. I had gotten rather used to being 40ish since I've been in that boat for the past 10 years. But I still have goals in mind, still have dreams and hopes and still believe they can come to pass. So my second piece of advice would be - never give up. It is NEVER too late. Live life fully everyday. 

So that's it for my motherly bordering on grandmotherly advice. 

I was pleasantly spoiled for my birthday! I am not a centre-of-attention type and don't really need much acknowledgement but co-workers and family alike celebrated with me. 

When I was having my morning coffee on the big day the routine was in the norm with Amelia snuggled beside me in the big comfy chair by the fireplace and Sasha stretched out on my lap. Now Amelia knows she is not to lick your face. She occasionally sneaks one in on the hand but if you get right into her space, although she really wants to, she will keep her tongue in check. But on my birthday Amelia lost it and licked my face and neck with exuberance.
"Amelia what is going on? What are you doing and why all the kisses?"
Amelia - "I just can't help it!!! It's your birthday! I LOVE YOU!! And you taste sooooo good!!!

At work I was treated to cake and lots of food. They gave me all things to keep me warm - slippers, chocolate, coffee, a big mug to wrap my hands around and leopard-printed fuzzy jammies. 

I treated myself and invested in an original oil painting by Jesus Estevez, a local artist whose work I have admired for the past few years. 

Finally, I went out to dinner with friends at the East and Main restaurant in Wellington where I was made a big to-do over and served by the affable Australian Jeremy. My husband surprised me with yet another Jesus Estevez painting (it had been my second choice when I was trying to decide), and best wishes abounded. 

So here we go - 50 years an counting! I may see another 50 or another 5. Either way, I'm blessed beyond measure!

NEED TO KNOW BASIS

I live on a need to know basis. In other words, I only know what I need to know to live my life in the present moment. 

When my son Adrian was young, around the ages of 4-10, he was one of those types who really needed as much information as you could provide. If we were going anywhere, he needed to know:
where we were going, who would be there, what would we be doing, when would we be leaving etc. etc. 

Most of us really do want as much data to assess the situations we are facing. And there is nothing wrong with that. For example, if you were making a big purchase, you do some research, get the info you need to make a good decision. Because this is stuff you need to know. It also helps us feel in control of our lives. 

But there are many things, good and bad, coming our way everyday that we don't know about. In the next year you could be facing illness or health, prosperity or poverty. You may have to face the fact that absolutely nothing will change over the next year - every day very much like the day before and the situations you are struggling with will still be there. 

I'm working my way through 1 Chronicles at the moment and came across the story of King David. He is nicely settled and living in a fine palace made of cedar. So he decides - pay back. Time to build a fancy house for God instead of the mobile tent the Israelites have been using forever. But word comes back through the prophet Nathan that David is not to go forward with this project. One of David's own offspring, a son, will be the one for the job. God says "He is the one who will build a house for me, and I will establish his throne forever. I will be his father, and he will be my son. I will never take my love away from him, as I took it away from your predecessor." That is what David needed to know. Information God did not provide was the aforementioned son would be Solomon - the son birthed from the union with Bathsheba. Where David would arrange to have Bathsheba's husband killed so he could cover up his adultery and take her for himself. Can you imagine what David would have felt if God had provided that little tidbit as well? I have to say I find that very gracious of God. To provide the positives and leave out all the negatives. If we knew that someone was going to screw up royally (pun intended) and yet we simply bypassed that and moved on to the positive outcome! 

A big part of my Christian walk involves faith and trust. "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you and hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. That is what I need to know. Sure, I'm going to make some huge goof-ups along the way and life will throw me curve balls. Maybe I will be warned ahead of time, maybe not. But I can trust to live on a need to know basis.