TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY

 We are winding another year down: 6 days till Christmas, 12 days till 2022! With the Big day within our grasp, the pandemic raises it’s ugly head again - snarling, snapping, spreading anxiety and fear. 

Tidings of comfort and joy seem far, far away. For some of us, Joy is not the emotion that comes to mind. We have had to let go of so much: freedom, hugs, social interaction without a care, connection and community, big raucous parties and concerts. 

We lost dear ones too. My good friend April passed away this summer. In our community we have lost generous and kind hearted people. I’m providing grief and bereavement support to a man who lost his wife of 60 years. 60 YEARS. 

In the midst of this I believe comfort and joy can still be found. You may have to look deep and focus. You may find it only lasts for a brief second, but there, in the midst of the darkness the light shines, the comfort comes.

Find comfort and joy in the littlest of things:

The beauty of a fresh snow fall, sparkling in the winter sun

The delicate wonder of light and colour 

Take comfort in a moment: a sip of fresh hot coffee, the gentle sigh of a dog or a cat’s purr. 

Take joy in that moment when your child smiles or a baby’s laughter. 

There is great joy in giving: give your time, your love, your patience.

On Dec. 22, the earth tilts and the days will begin to get longer. That’s a comforting thought! 

In the midst of the aching loss, you can, without guilt, find these small offerings of comfort and joy. This is my wish for you this season and in the coming year.

 

HOLY ZINGER!

 Christmas has come around again. Not even a pandemic can stop it! It’s the time on earth where we can shout with the angels “ peace, joy and goodwill to all men”. 

So rightly we acknowledge the birth of Jesus at Christmas and the universal affect His arrival meant to this little blue planet. 

But I want to jump ahead in His timeline to closer to the end of His life on earth, as I understand, when He was just in His early 30s. 

He’s grown into an intriguing, fascinating man. He’s got a pretty good following and an equal amount of enemies He’s ticked off. Sometimes He speaks in parables, sometimes He speaks straight up and sometimes He drops the mike with a Holy Zinger.

The religious leaders of the day, the very ones you would think would be backing the King of the Jews, have some suspicions about this young upstart. 

So they conspire on how to trap Him. They start with a little sugar. “We know that you are sincere, and teach God’s way truthfully, that you treat everyone the same and don’t play favourites. So tell us, is it permissible under Jewish law to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” 

I can almost hear Jesus’ exasperated sigh. Perhaps a slight rolling of the eyes…

“Why are you testing me, you hypocrites. Show me the money…(they hand over a coin). “Whose likeness and inscription is on it?” 

“Caesars” they reply. 

Jesus replies, “then give to Caesar what is Caesars, and to God what is Gods.” BAZINGA. 

The religious leaders are speechless and shuffle on out of there. 

You may know Jesus as just a little babe in a manger. You might envision him as a strict legalistic, no-fun kinda guy. But He was so much more. He had all the time in the world for the rough-around the edge, broken humanity and very little patience with the Spiritual Giants of the day. And He could really dish out a Holy Zinger!

IT’S THE GREAT PUMPKIN!

 I’m dating myself, but Peanuts “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” was always a favourite. This TV special came out in 1966 if you can believe it - over 50 years ago! Linus will be happy to know pumpkin is still reigning supreme and seems we are as smitten as ever. 

We went with Randi to take the Little Prince and Princess out to pick the perfect pumpkin. 

And after some serious debate regarding the shapes of eyes and noses, Soren requested a one-eyed “poison” pumpkin and I went with a googled-eyed cat

But pumpkin’s lure goes beyond Halloween and Jack-o-Lanterns! What about all those “pumpkin spice” chai teas or lattes? Did you know you can get pumpkin spice Cheerios?? I can see a few of you rolling your eyes. 

Although I don’t stop into Starbucks very often, I do get caught into that spicy orange goodness. I pick up a little pumpkin, bake it and blend to make a nice batch of pumpkin purée. Then comes Pumpkin Thai soup - made with coconut milk and jalapeño peppers! 

I made pumpkin cookies - some with chocolate, some with nuts and raisins

I still had a bit of pumpkin purée left so one morning I added a spoonful to my Oatmeal. Ok…if you are a pumpkin pie fan this will be up your alley! Topped with maple syrup, cinnamon and some cashew/coconut milk, it was like warm pumpkin pie first thing in the morning! OMGP- Oh My Great Pumpkin!

Finally, let’s consider the straight goods: it is a good source of vitamin C, E, iron and folate - all excellent for your immune system to help ward off those nasty germs. It is high in fibre and low in carbs and sugar too!

Linus was on to something. Pumpkin Is Great! 

WHAT’S ON THE TABLE?

 Last weekend was the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday. We are slowly edging our way back into extended family meals and I offered to cook.

So cook I did!

Fresh roasted turkey with stuffing, potatoes, beans, roasted squash and Brussels sprouts, corn and a rich gravy to top it all off. My parents brought a beautiful ham and pumpkin pie plus I had an apple pie. 

It was a lovely meal and the table was full of good things.

The day before, Sheldon and I took a drive to Westport and stopped at a Winery for lunch. 

I had a glass of wine and salad - that’s it.

It too was a lovely meal.

If you are blessed, you have a lot on your table: a home, health, family,  food. You have a job, money in the bank, friends, a good faithful dog.

But I’m sure you’ve noticed, on occasion, things get removed from the table. You may lose your job, your marriage, that good faithful dog. 

Sometimes we choose to take something off the table, but it is much harder when we don’t have a choice! 

For people with a life limiting illness, the buffet options can slowly and painfully become smaller. They may lose their physical health, then their job and financial security, their independence. The same as we age we may notice the table getting sparse. 

It’s a good exercise to think about what’s important to you. Look at what’s on your table right now. What if something had to be taken off - which would you choose. What does your life look like without the full turkey dinner with all the trimmings. 

When we become ill, our goals can become very basic and focused. A walk around the block, a visit with the children, or maybe just getting to the bathroom and back. A salad and a glass of wine. 

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes you have a banquet, sometimes you are down to toast and tea. Reflecting on what’s important to you will help you make decisions and feel more in control. 

 

APPRECIATION POST!

 I’m one of those fortunate humans that get to call themselves “Canadians”. We have freedom, abundance, peace and such breath-taking beauty!

Last weekend I went on a Mudpuppy trip with my friend Kelly. We canoed into Joe Perry Lake in Bon Echo for a girls weekend getaway. 

As one who normally feels the cold, I have never camped out past August and was not too sure how I would fare in a tent in late September!

I fared just great! 

Armed with sleeping bag, blanket, pants/shirt/sweater, socks and a toque I was warm enough as the temperature dropped down to 6 degrees celcius. Kelly provided a couple of hot pockets that I threw in the sleeping bag for an added bonus warmth. Appreciation shout out to Kelly!

We were fortunate as well to have some great weather, other than a bit of rain at night. That was much appreciated!

And the beauty of Canada in September!

I was also surprised by the peace and quiet. Normally there is a lot going on in the woods in the morning - birds, ducks, frogs, insects all crying for breakfast at the same time.

But in September, other than a lazy hum and the occasional loon call, all is calm. 

We are not perfect, and have our struggles and issues, but truly, we are a blessed nation. 

WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER

 There were a lot of details. We needed everyone to be well, available and travelling a safe possibility.

Four separate families all trying to get together at the same place and at the same time. 

In the midst of a pandemic no less! 

And we pulled it off! I had booked a big cottage for the week at Lucky Lake and invited both of my children with their respective families. My daughter-in-law’s parents joined as well. For the first time I was able to have all 3 of my grandchildren together. 

We had sunny days playing on the beach

And rainy days spent inside with stories 

We had beautiful sunsets

As well as crisp, quiet misty mornings

There were loud and raucous boat rides!

As well as some deep after dinner conversations

We had lots of smiles!

And the occasional pouts!

Even Lulu got some quality time exploring

All the moments and memories are stored away

I love it when a plan comes together!

SAYING GOODBYE WITH YELLOW ROSES

 It’s no secret I’m not good at goodbyes. I tend to hold on to those of you who embed themselves in my heart and take up residence.

April and I worked closely together, sharing the same job. Nearly every morning, we would touch base via video (COVID you know) to follow up on palliative patients we worked with and their families, making sure the ball was not dropped as we passed it. 

“Good Morning April! How was your night? Anything you need to tell me before I take over?”

“Morning Cyndi! I’m OK but last night my arm went numb - had to go to emergency to get checked out! Thought I was having a stroke!”

“Oh no! How are you feeling now? Your arm still numb?”

“Yeah, it is. I’m booked for an MRI next week. Could only happen to me!”

That was a turning point, about 6 weeks ago. April went for her MRI late on a Friday night and when I checked in the next morning she told me she was on her way to Kingston. 

Then she was admitted.

Then there was a biopsy.

Then there was the diagnosis. All in about a week’s time. An aggressive and inoperable brain cancer. April was 37 years old. 

Still, she was young and strong and ready to fight with chemo and radiation even though the doctors told her this was a terminal diagnosis. She was given the hopeful news this tumour often reacted well to the chemotherapy. But only 3 treatments in, she seizured and was rushed back to Kingston to be admitted. 

Sweet beautiful April passed away 6 weeks after her diagnosis. Though I’m no stranger to grief,  the shock hit me hard. She was like a daughter to me and I had hoped we would have at least a year to say goodbye. I continued to work the day at the office, trying to stay busy and doing mindless tasks. 

Her incredible family flew in from all over: some from out West, some from Ontario and some from Newfoundland where she was born. There were a lot of them and a couple of days after her death,  I stopped into April’s place to meet them, handing over a box of her personal belongings from the office. One sounds just like her, one has her eyes, all have her Down east warmth. I said goodbye to her voice, to her eyes, to her wit and accent. Tonka, her Husky sat dejectedly on the porch and only perked up when I handed over some fruit and muffins. 

When I got home from work that day after hearing the news of her death, I found my roses had suddenly exploded into blooms, especially the yellow ones. Yellow roses are a symbol of warmth and friendship. 

I’m not good with goodbyes April. I will miss you and never forget you! Thank you for the beautiful roses.