Musings of a House Cat

Desperate or Distracted

2011-02-19T05:12:00.001-08:00

Usually I find these winter months, meaning January and February, a great time in the year to slow down, refocus and of course hibernate, particularly after the chaos of Christmas with all it's events and celebrations.
But when I returned to work after the Christmas holidays it was incredibly busy. I had a number of upcoming meetings to prepare for and training sessions. The result being my mind was reeling with "work thoughts" invading my home time. If you work in any type of administrative role, you are usually multi-tasking to the max, arranging, preparing and making sure the wheels are well greased ahead of time so everything runs smoothly. So with all these things going on, I was feeling pretty distracted. I would sit down to spend some one-on-one time in prayer and I was soon moving back to "did I email so and so?" or "I have to photocopy that" or "I had better book those rooms." I think God has been patiently waiting for me to look him in the eye and say "you have my full attention!"

On the other hand, there are the desperate times. Desperate people are very focused. On one thing. They are not distracted. They are desperately listening and waiting for that one answer. They also can be pretty needy.

I've been in both sets of shoes. The funny thing about the distracted is sometimes, if God can't get your attention for any length of time, He will move you into a desperate mode, just so He can talk to you! Sometimes, you will move yourself there. "Help! I have too much going on!! I need some answers!! I'm desperate!"

On the flip side, I'm happy to say, God is never desperate or distracted. He never stops giving you his full attention, He never says "just a minute, I've got a few things going on right now."
He never says "I'm desperate for some answers myself!"

If you are desperate or distracted, you are swinging to the far side of the pendulum. Neither are a good place to be. It's time to balance out - somewhere in the middle where life is full and fulfilling but you can still find your center and refocus without feeling distracted and without feeling needy. I'm working towards that myself right now. As I'm definitely swinging on the distracted side I will purposefully leave work at work and take time to quiet myself and listen in the stillness to the voice of my Lord and Saviour.

The Problem with Popcorn

2011-02-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Bet you thought I was gone for good didn't ya? Actually it was January in Canada and I was hibernating. Now that we are well into February, half way through, this little bear is starting to wake up and sniff the air.
And I'm hungry.
When it comes to food, I'm a nibbler. I perfected this technique whilst waitressing in my young and energetic days. Having no time to actually sit down and eat a meal, I would nibble. A french fry here, a scoop of rice pudding there.
But I started this nibblemania much before that. I nibble down the sides of chocolate bars. Makes them last longer I say. First the very tip, then down one side and then the other, then the bottom end. I nibble my way through cookies. Makes them last longer I say. Nibble, nibble nibble.
But here is the anomoly. I have a problem with popcorn.
For some reason I take huge mitt-fuls and try to stuff them all into my mouth at once. I don't know why....I certainly don't do this with anything else. Strictly stick to delicate little mouthfuls or nibbles. Why I don't pop one little kernal into my mouth at a time, like any well educated nibbler would do, is beyond me. In an effort to choke myself on popcorn, I drop it all over my lap, the counter and the floor, much to Amelia's delight who just snaps up all those falling gems.
So, if you find yourself getting frustrated with all my nibbling, hand me some popcorn and watch the transformation begin.

A Successful Destiny

2011-01-01T06:34:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone! Hard to imagine it's 2011. I can honestly say, I've been around on this earth for a while now. I've seen some amazing times, some hard times, lots of changes, a few surprises but the bottom line is I have a successful destiny ahead of me.
I can easily be accused of being nostalgic. That would be true. I'm big on tradition and I love to ruminate on the past full of wonderful memories. But I'm not walking backwards always looking behind. I'm looking forward! So much ahead, so much to do and see! I can glance back at the past, when I was younger or when the kids were little etc. and appreciate those times but I don't want to go back there and relive them. I have already lived them (and learned from them)! There is more to live ahead! Why not just add to the pile of great moments and memories and lessons!
Even better, I have a guarantee. It is one of the many perks of following Christ. "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day." (Proverbs 4:18). Sometimes things start out a little murky, and I can't see the direction I'm to take but as time goes on, just like the breaking of dawn, everything becomes clearer until it's like full daylight and I can see every detail. If you are in the dark, I suggest you wait a little while until the sun comes up!
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:3). You see - it's a guarantee to success!
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." (1Cor. 2:9). I trust Him to bring me wonderful suprises. And as for the struggles I didn't see coming I trust Him to walk me through them.
So here's to a new year. A year full of success in all you do for that is what you are destined for!

Angels All The Way

2010-12-26T06:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone and Happy New Year! Let's just get that out of the way shall we?

Today is Boxing Day, the day I usually in a prompt and efficient manner, dispose of my Christmas Tree. But, as it only went up 3 days ago, I promised the kids I would leave it alone for the time being, say, tomorrow. I love christmas time, really, I do. But when it's done, I'm done. Be gone holly, be gone tree, be gone little red sleigh and ceramic house. I want order here people.

But I'm giving my tree a break this year. The poor thing was snatched off the Christmas Tree lot at Home Depot at a rock bottom price as there were only a couple days left until the big day. We lovingly decorated it with all our favourite ornaments and memories. Went to bed ready for Christmas Eve and I woke to find it laying face first on my carpet, acting all embarrased like, as it had poured all it's water onto my presents and soaked my rug. Thank you Amelia. Hope you had a good time tugging that ornament off that you just had to eat and pulling the tree down with it. So we propped er back up. Tied her to the Curtain rod and redecorated the whole thing. Randi dragged the carpet upstairs and over the banister in an attempt to dry and I stuck all the presents by the fire to warm up. And there was my angel, the pinnacle of the tree, holding her little lights in each hand that don't light up anymore. They are little blackened bulbs now. But she keeps smiling even if she is not lighting the way.

We are angel people, not star people. My parents had a lovely little angel with gold foil wings, alabaster hair and a beautiful wax face that had been delicately carved. One year the angel hung out too close to the fire and that was the end of her lovely little nose and rosebud mouth.

Recently, my son's girlfriend told me about an angel her mother used to own that they always put on the tree top. There she was, holding her two little lights in each hand much like my angel used to, and as Mara (at that time about 9) gazed in wonder those little lights suddenly blazed up and became flames of fire. Chaos ensued and the scored angel was promptly disposed of. Can you imagine what a little girl would be thinking as this angel decided it was time to torch the tree???

Even though some angels go bad and try to burn down your house or not light at all, or turn into a blob of wax, we still stick with them. It's angels all the way in this house.

Cookie Belly and Other Christmas Maladies

2010-12-05T15:53:00.000-08:00

I don't really have to point out to any of you that Christmas is coming down the pike like rollerblades down a hill right now. We are in the thick of it. Shopping, decorating, celebrating and baking.

But Christmas doesn't come without its issues. You can't have a rose without thorns ya know.
To name a few: stress, perpetual busy-ness, a few extra pounds, hangovers and of course cookie belly.

Cookie belly plagues my household a lot at this time of the year. Both myself and my new daughter aka ballerina billet Kelli have a passion for baking, especially cookies. And then we sample the dough at different intervals, sample each batch, sample when they are still hot and then when they are cold and voila, you have a cookie belly. That's a belly that feels far to full and uncomfortable with a major sugar rush at the same time. The next morning you wake up with pants that have shrunk on their own accord.

But it's worth it. They are beautiful cookies inside the belly and outside the belly. The other day we spent an afternoon baking and decorating sugar cookies. Works of art, every last one of them! We are both good little bakers. In fact, I'm feeling a little peckish and Kelli just baked up a new batch of gingersnaps. Soft and fat pillows of gingery, spicy, sugary goodness....mmmmmmm. Bring on CB!

Sign of the Times

2010-11-20T05:00:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was my day off, if you can call it that. It's the day I have "off" of my job that I go to and the day I try to jam in as many chores as possible. So after wandering around Walmart for a while which I hate doing so I finally said to myself "Self, what are you doing here, get out!" I left and headed to the Mall.
I'm not much of a Mall person either but, it's a sign of the times - christmas is coming; there is shopping to be done. I'm a get in, get it and get out kind of girl but yesterday as I was heading back to the exit there was the Christmas train out in a huge display.
This train set(s) is up every year but honestly, I have not taken the time to check it out since the kids were little and would stuff there little noses up against the glass on their tippee-toes to see the trains putter by through the little villages and hills.
I thought, slow down, you are moving to fast. You got to make the morning last. So I took the time to check out the little trains moving around the track and all the activity of train town.
There is a parade, which I remembered, going through a town with names of local stores. One of the floats in the parade is called "3 men in a hot tub" and sure enough, it is a hot tub with three men in it. I did not remember one of them being naked but sure enough, there is a little guy in there wearing no clothes....
Around the corner there is a fire going on with thick cotton ball puffs painted grey on the roof to indicate smoke and the police are there trying to keep order and the fire truck of course. There is a few men hanging around pointing, gesturing towards the ladder or the roof or something.
But one part, I did not really remember is a fenced in area with a barn called "Jurassic Park Day Care". There are a lot of dinosaurs lazying around inside the fence. I guess this is where you drop your dinosaur off before heading to work. Sticking out of the top window of the barn is the back end of either a brontosaurus or T-rex (not sure as I could only see his butt). Very clever.
Made me think I should really take the time in the midst of this busy season to check out the small details that make Christmas extra special. In fact, next time I'm in the mall I'm going to give that whole train set up a good going over, see what other little surprises are there to be discovered.
The Christmas chaos is starting to rev up. We can get overwhelmed, overbooked and overfed. Slow down and take the time to discover the little wonders of the season, whether that be the incredible unique beauty of a single snowflake or the back end of a dinosaur sticking out a window.

A Mouse in the House and Other Such Critter Encounters

2010-11-13T05:12:00.001-08:00

Winter is in its way here in Canada. There is a definite chill in the air. So who can blame Mr. Mouse for moving his abode from the sunny grasses of my backyard to inside my 4 walls. Doesn't seem to matter that there are also 3 humans, 1 dog and two cats in here already. Apparently, we can all get along.
Amelia, the dog, though she sometimes takes the stance of a pointer (one paw bent in the air, back straight and nose pointed in the general direction of a suspicious object), is quite useless at catching anything.
Clare, well she is just too old and crabby. She can't hear, she sleeps all the time and she has a problem determining where the heck the kitty litter is.
But Frodo.....how disappointing. My big boy born in the wild by a feral mom no less. Who was raised on the ins and and outs of hunting mice. He simply is not doing his job. Oh, he's met Mr. Mouse, watched Mr. Mouse, even played with Mr. Mouse, but he has not shown Mr. Mouse the door.
So now when I go down to do the laundry, there he is twitching his cute little nose and whiskers at me and then I catch a glimpse of his little white belly and tippy tail as he scampers off. I hope he didn't invite his friends.
I don't mind mice. I don't really want them in my house either. But it seems until Frodo gets his act together or I break down and set a trap, it is what it is. Now RATS, on the other hand, that is a different story.
I used to work in a dog kennel where rat disposal was part of the job. I had it all worked out though. I simply let CeCe (sounds like seesee) out of her pen, barking chaos would ensue as all the other dogs would I suspect place their bets, and CeCe would eventually nail that rat, give it a quick shake, break it's neck and voila, one dead rat ready for me to dispose of. All I had to do was bury the sucker.
Then, there was the squirrel visit, clearly something right out of the movie Christmas Vacation. I was typing away at the computer, much like today. The dog and cat were both snoozing behind me in their respective chairs. Suddenly I hear the plink, plink of the piano. I take a quick look around me. Only me and the pets are in the house and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. So I tiptoed into the music room see who was playing my piano. Mr. Squirrel was just heading out and we kind of ran into each other. I screamed, Squirrel screamed and we both headed in different directions; me up the stairs and Squirrelly into the clutches of the now very much awake dog and cat. Thus the craziness began with Squirrel, Amelia and Frodo all tearing up the place. Clare slept through it all. I eventually cornered the poor squirrel in the shelf on a bookcase and I promptly sealed the front of it with a garbage bag and called my hubby to get home right now and do something about this! With a little luck we eventually got the squirrel back outside. That is probably the last time he will try his paws on making music.
So back to Mr. Mouse. He really must go. Maybe if I wake Clare up and point her in the right direction, she'll perk up and do what comes naturally. Maybe Frodo will get his lazy butt in gear. Maybe Amelia will come up with a brilliant idea in her silly head. Maybe I'll set a trap. Or maybe, we will all live in harmony until spring. As long as Rat and Squirrel don't show up!

When you Blow It....and We all do

2010-10-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

Three Steps to Sin:
1) Contemplation
2) Rationaliation
3) Consent
P.S. - sin always affects others
Ruth Bell Graham

I think Ruth pretty much nailed this one. Short, sweet, to the point and pretty darn accurate. Odd, how easy it is to sin, especially when you consider we actually have not one but 3 choices to make. We have to choose to contemplate it, choose to rationalize, and choose to consent. That means we have 3 chances to stop the process too, knowing there are dire outcomes (sin always affects others,not to mention yourself) if we move onto step 2 or 3!
Yet, we all do it, we all mess up.
Which is why I love the story of Peter and the crowing rooster. Here is Jesus with his disciples having their last supper together before his death on th cross. Jesus knows what is coming, he probably feels quite alone as there is no one else around the table even amongst his closest friends, who get his pain.
Jesus looks at Peter and says "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back strengthen your brothers (Luke 22:31).
Peter emphatically insists "Lord I am ready to go with you to prison and to death!"
But Jesus says "I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me."
Later that night, when Jesus is arrested Peter follows at a distance. He is attempting to keep his fiery words of complete and utter loyalty. So as he sits by the fire trying to look inconspicuous, someone across the way is staring intently and accuses "This man was with him!" Peter quickly contemplates what to do. He rationalizes, if he admits it, he will be caught and then what good would he be to Jesus! So he gives his consent and lies "I don't know him." He does this two more times, getting louder and more insistent believing his lie. After the third time the rooster crows and Jesus turns and looks straight at him. It is a knife to Peter's heart, he knows he has blown it and he runs out to weep bitterly. We can all relate to how Peter felt. I know I Can!
Afterwards, Peter gave up on himself, he went back to fishing. He probably felt, "I'm no good to even be called a disciple of Jesus. I'm just a dumb old fisherman, that's all I'm good for."
So when he finds himeself sitting around another camp fire, this time with Jesus, he can barely look him in the eye. He hangs his head in shame. But Jesus reinstates him, not once, twice, but three times, wiping off each of Peter's mistakes. He directs Peter to do the very thing he now has expertise on, looking after Jesus' sheep. Peter has been through it, he has been sifted by Satan, he knows what it feels like to blow it. Jesus knew this would happen, he was praying for Peter even before the events took place.
"And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
The best person to remove a sliver out of another's eye is the one who has been through the same thing, who has removed not just a sliver, but a whole plank.
When we blow it we can come back stronger, and be there, with compassion, understanding and grace to help someone else through.

This Week in the News!

2010-10-15T05:43:00.000-07:00

I hope you all have had a great week! It's Friday for me, week's nearly done. And it's been a pretty typical one. Ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows - zoom another week gone in my life in the blink of an eye.
It started with the most gorgeous Thanksgiving weekend ever. We drove the kids back to their respective schools....the other side of Toronto...on the holiday Monday. Needless to say, I would not recommend that little, I mean long, bumper-to-bumper drive. Why weren't all these people snug in their Grandma's farmhouse eating turkey in the backwoods somewhere???
We got home late but Tuesday was back to work so with sleepy limbs and fuzzy eyes I headed into the office. "What....I have to do the Minutes for 2 meetings back to back all afternoon?"...."And what are we talking about??" I magooed my way throught that and somehow produced two coherent sets of Minutes. Came home to find cheques in the mail from the government!!! Yeah!! None for me however, two for Adrian, one for Randi. But, it all pans out for the whole family in the end, believe me.
Did Laundry
Made Cookies
Made Lentil and Sweet potatoe soup
All those other everyday things we women do. Blah blah blah
I had dance last night and survived yet again!
So here we are on Friday, my day off. I paid the bills via the internet (I love internet banking). And find that this week, we have no money so we will be on a tight budget.
I will be getting groceries today, working out and maybe, if I'm lucky, will get in that 3:00 nap!
This weekend will include yardwork and prep for winter, who keeps hinting he's coming for a visit soon. I have a lovely backyard

And here is our deck - 5 years and counting. Maybe next year we can actually use it! Sheldon has made steady progress this year so I'm hopeful.

Hope you all have a great Friday a great weekend and enjoy the everyday things of life.

Prince Edward County

2010-10-01T05:37:00.000-07:00

If I hop into my car and drive around the corner, down the block, take one more corner and then a right over the bridge, I find myself in Prince Edward County.

"The County" is a place I spent a fair bit of my childhood (Grades Kindergarten to 6) in a variety of houses as my parents rented what was available/affordable. The County was a farming region, a little island with a great beach, where we got apples, potatoes and fresh corn.

But "The County" is grown up. Suddenly, it has become a mecca for artists and gourmets, not to mention the biggest thing growing there now are wineries! I still love to visit as it is filled with childhood memories, beautiful landscape and now that is all grown up, really great food and wine!

Last weekend we went with friends to "Taste" a culinary celebration so to speak. For a pretty penny you can nibble on all sorts of gourmet goodies made from local ingredients and sip the lastest fruits of the vine. If you ever get a chance to go, it is a nice albeit pricey, way to spend a day. So there I am on the Picton Fairgrounds, the same place that as a child I would go every Tuesday night for skating lessons, the same place I would ride the scrambler at the Picton Fair, the same place where I hung out with Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau in the grandstand watching the horse show (true story). Now, I'm walking about with all the other adults looking pretty pleased with the assortment of goodies to choose from and enjoying live jazz. My, how life changes!

After nibbling and sipping, we travelled about a bit and landed in the middle of a party at the Sandbanks Winery. Seems they had a harvest party earlier in the day and everyone was, well, celebrating the harvest, in a big way.

The trees are pulling out their very best colours, the air is crisp and fresh, the food is good - you should come visit!

Taking Stock

2010-09-24T05:19:00.000-07:00

I've taken on a new project lately. No, it's nothing living and in need of shelter. It's my old recipe collection.

I have written favourite and family classics into an old binder for years, but, like me, that binder is beginning to show it's age. For that matter, so are my cookbooks. There is one I bought at work when some fella showed up at the office selling cookbooks. It was a big lug and in fact, has a starring role in the Santa Clause (at the beginning, when he is making dinner). I dont know what possessed me to buy it cause that would mean I would have had to carry it home as I did not drive back then, there is no public transporation in Trenton (still) and it was a good 40 minute walk home. But, I did buy it and I have, some 25 years later, taken the cover right off of it. I have another I scooped at up at a house we were renting when Randi was just a newborn. Still has the address written in the front of it.

So I've decided to start to retype all of these so they are legible, print them off, and put them in page protectors so they don't start colonies of their own for all the butter, sugar and flour I have spilled on them. Then I will keep them in a nice heavy-duty binder. Also, as more often then not, when I'm looking for a recipe I often check the internet, I can then print these ones off and slip them into a nice little page protector as well.

Now I have the original "cyndi's chocolite chip cookies" recipe, Grandma Hall's chocolate cake, my mom's amazing macaroni and cheese, which I can never get right, that yummy butter tart recipe from one book and the Pumpkin Thai soup I tore out of a magazine and made my own. All in one place, and ready for the next generation.

I could just be getting sentimental - and practical - but probably more sentimental. Note the picture I found at the back of my old binder.

I believe Randi would have created this masterpiece before she was even into double digits. Note the joy and happiness, not the sleeping brother up in the house, note that everyone is thinking about a ballerina, which is strange because it wasn't until many years later when we moved into town that we started taking in stray ballerinas.....

And now she is in her last year of University.

Sigh......I'm getting sentimental, and taking stock of my family history of cooking at the same time.

Turn the Page

2010-09-11T05:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a big week for me; a new chapter, a turning of the page so to speak.

I dropped my baby off at University. That's right, my baby.

Child number one is starting her fifth year. We are old hat with her.
Child number two is starting his first year. And, he's my baby.

That means I'm done....my role as a mother is basically over. I know it is NEVER really over but the brunt of the job, once a full time role, is now moving to part time. I don't like it, I'm fighting against it, but eventually I will have to accept it.

I hate the part when you leave your off spring in some unknown and foreign land, far from home and you give them a hug and drive off. It's a terrible sink or swim feeling. Of course, they are more than ready to swim, you have been teaching them all the moves for the last 20 years and they are usually itching to go it alone.

but still....it is hard.

So, we are moving on to the "Empty Nest" syndrome which is making me feel rather old.
But I have an ace up my sleeve....a back up plan.

What if we could simply produce another child - still have one under the roof and remind me to keep in tune with the rhythms of school life?

Voila - we take in Kelly, a ballerina at the Quinte Ballet school. She is a mere 17 years old. Just going into Grade 11. That gives me at least two years to adapt into "Empty Nest".

Kelly is my "transition" child, my "ease me into it" girl. She's sweet, quiet and busy and indepedent enough to help me from over-mothering but just enough to allow me to keep my hand in this parenting career.

Some people are more than ready to have their kids out from underneath them. Some people are not. Give me some time. I'll get the hang of it. I was never a quick learner.

Puppy Love

2010-09-03T05:31:00.000-07:00

This is Jack....

Jack is a chocolate lab puppy and I think I love him. I'm pretty sure he loves me too. In fact, Jack loves everybody. My daughter's boyfriend said, while playing with Jack, "whoever said you can't buy me love never had a puppy." And he was right!

Jack, sadly, was only visiting our house for a few days while his owners were off on a camping trip. Believe me, I could have kept him! While he was visiting I called him a number of things:

Jack,

Jackie

Jackson Browne

Jack Bowser,

Wiggleworm

Chubby-wob

Baby

Honey

Pudgy

Rolo (cause he's so chocolatey sweet and probably is made of caramel on the inside) ....

Petting Jack is like petting a live, warm, velveteen brown sweater. I loved his little tail, his all pink mouth, the way he would lean heavily up against me and look up. Sigh.....

He played a lot with Amelia and he peed on my rug several times. He had every dog toy that we owned scattered across the back yard and living room.

I miss him.

"Come back Jack.....come back!!"

Swimming

2010-08-20T05:12:00.001-07:00

We recently returned from a week's holidays at a cottage. Had a lovely time- lots of do nothing stuff and a completely different change of pace. I would get up around 8:00 as opposed to 6:00, read and read and read, eat a fair bit, and the evenings consisted of a good family game and a movie. I also did a lot of swimming, something you can only do for a few short months of the year in Canada.
I've decided I love to swim in the northern lakes, cossetted by trees and rocks rather than the great lakes, an endless expanse of water. I love the silky feel of the water up north. It seems to gently wrap around you and is not that interested in bashing you with mountainous waves and white caps.
It usually takes me a while to get into the water. At the Sand Banks in the County you just keep on walking and slowly, the water creeps up a little higher and I waste more time just trying to acclimatize. But up north there is no choice. There's no walking in - you just jump off the dock and away you go. It's a quick, surprising, refreshing, awakening moment and then I'm there, ready to dog paddle away!
I flip over on my back and take the stance of Jesus on the cross - arms out to the side, feet together. And I just float away, looking up at the clouds watching them scuttle past. There is that somewhat uncomfortable popping feeling in my ears as the water seeps through and then - nothing. I'm weightless with only the sound of my breathing, the water holding me up and blue sky and clouds above. I check out the tree tops waving away and though I can't hear it I know the wind is rustling the leaves.
Then, after a few good laps to work off that extra snack, I climb out onto the warm rocks and wrap up in a towel.
These are the times that make up for cold, cold winters, ice and snow and endless night.

Poor Puttytat

2010-08-06T05:04:00.000-07:00

I have a bored cat on my hands. I feel terrible about it but I'm not sure what to do about it...

Frodo is mopy, losing hair like crazy and giving me a number of signals.

One that says I'm bored

One that says I'm ticked off

One that says I'm hopeful you will let me out!

Frodo was born outside from a feral mother. Friends of ours allowed the mom to have her babies under their porch and we watched these little ones nose about and grow. I knew which one I wanted to take home and when the day came to get Frodo we discovered momma cat had hidden them into crevaces of an old rock pile! We literally had to pull him out from the ground!

So Frodo is an outside cat - he lives for the outdoors and to chase birds and mice. He loves to roll on the warm pavement and snooze under the bushes.

But sadly, Frodo has received a life sentence. It seems the neighbours do not appreciate Frodo using their rose garden for outside purposes and after a number of complaints it is clear Frodo will have to stay inside. We tried a leash, a good one too, that I was hopeful he would get used to and we could then tie him up for some outside roaming time but he was out of that in a matter of minutes. Our next option is a cage....a sorry option indeed.

Basically he sits inside now and mopes about with those sad, bored, hopeful eyes watching me.

I'm open to suggestions.....his age works both for and against him. As he is now 10 he is slowing down a little and does not mind sleeping more than playing. On the other hand, trying to switch a 10 years old cat from always going outside to not is like trying to teach an old dog new tricks.

In the meantime, on occasion, Frodo does sneak outside at times. Early in the morning, when I'm walking Amelia, Frodo has learned if he is quick he can zip out the door when I'm busy trying to keep hold of Ami. I don't blame him - who could?

The Air I Breathe

2010-07-30T05:06:00.000-07:00

I was on holidays last weekend and part of that included a family camping trip to Algonquin. And this people is the air I breathe.

This is the life blood that revives and strengthens me.

I need to see things like this...

I need to smell, taste, touch and hear the sounds of a canoe on the water

And I can't help but wonder at the beauty created around me and how, in a short span of 5 months, this same environment that welcomes me with warmth and greenery will be white, cold and still. Truly, God is keen on variety!

We had a great time eating....

Fishing...

And just enjoying the scenery!

And then, I head back home and I sit in my "pod" in the office, with no window and the windows that are available do not open!

And that is why this is the Air I Breathe, the Air I Need to Breathe!

In a couple of weeks I have another vacation time coming up which will be spent at a cottage....by a lake....with the wind whispering in the pines and loons crying at night and dragonflies stopping by to say hello with their shimmering, iridescent coloured wings.

And I will be ready and refreshed for another year - to do the business of work and life.

Anybody for Freshie?

2010-07-16T04:57:00.000-07:00

The other day at work a co-worker mentioned the word "Freshie".
Freshie....now there's a word I have not heard in a while!! I doubt my kids would even know what it means. Funny how "Kool-Aid" is still kicking around but Freshie has disappeared along with "groovy" and "far out."
I started to thinking about all the hip words that come and go, words we never say anymore, words we never even need to say anymore. Coming even faster are the new words to fit our technology - blogging for example. How funny would the word blogging sound to someone 50 years ago?? If you asked them what they had thought a blog was who knows what the answer would be. Something from a swamp, a monster similar to "The Blob"? I believe "The Blob" was all the rage about 50 years ago....but I could be wrong.
So here's to all those long forgotten words that used to be so much a part of our vocabulary. If you are a reader, you are a lover of words and it seems to be a shame to pack them all away. Maybe I'll start re-inventing the word "Freshie". Start putting it out there again like "Boy isn't that a freshie!" meaning new and hip or something like that. Or "She's a real freshie!" as in a big flirt.
So I encourage you all - if you have a word you once upon a time had a great fondness for that seems to be shelved, pull er out, breathe some new life into it, and let's see what happens!

Market Day

2010-07-09T05:23:00.000-07:00

After surviving that nasty flu bug and getting my energy back I took an early trip down to the local farmer's market. Too bad I could not (and still can't) smell anything but the visual was wonderful! A trip to the market is enough to sooth any soul. Enjoy the photos!

Potatoes! Birthed from the Earth

I LOVE HONEY

Remember to eat your vegetables

These bottles were so pretty in the sun

Berries for Dessert!

Back In the Saddle

2010-07-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

I've had a good run - for over two years I've been perfectly healthy. But all good things come to an end, they say and WAM - it hit me. For the past week, I've had a cold, a flu a whatever.
Sore throat - check
Painful ears - check
Achy - check
Feverish - check
Upset tummy - check
Coughing all night - check etc. etc....
I'm on the mend now, coming out of the fog and beginning to get my energy back. Of course, I kept going to work and of course I kept doing the household chores. But finally I'm beginning to feel like I can accomplish these things without having to hit the couch for an immediate nap. In the midst of this nasty business I thought I would try and make myself feel better. So, one night, I took some aspirin, laid down for about an hour, felt the drugs kicking in, announced to my husband I have about an hour before I crash again and headed out the door to buy an I-Pad. What a pertty toy it is and certainly helped to while away the hours in bed or on the couch. And just so you know - I saved my pennies for about 6 months - try not to buy toys on credit people. Not a good idea.
I must say - photos and videos are amazingly clear. Apps are taunting me - looking for my money and some will certainly win. I've downloaded the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and I'm doing my first E-book read. Some change is hard to take and some is easy. The I-Pad technology falls under easy and fun to be sure. So I'm back in the Saddle with an upgrade.

Cats, Dance and Strawberries

2010-06-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

I've a busy weekend. Moments of peace, moments of chaois, moments of tension and excitement. All because of cats, dance and strawberries!
Let's start with the cats. I had to take Frodo and Claire in for the annual check-up and shots. Now Frodo is 10 and beginning to slow down. He was not happy about the vet visit and I knew it. He hunkered down, flattened his ears and gave me a look that said "I hate you right now." But he did not make a fuss, just put up with the prodding and poking. Claire, on the other hand, is 17 years old but she acted more like a feisty, feral wildcat. She hissed and slashed and growled and carried on like a banshee. It took 3 of us, some gloves, and a towel to complete the shots. I thought for sure, this whole chaotic process was going to kill her....but no....she lives on, and on, and on....
On to the strawberries! It's strawberry season here and they are ready for the picking. So a friend and I went out to a farm and sat in this beautiful, peaceful field with ruby red berries peeking out under every green leaf. The beauty of just sitting there, barely having to move, the scent of the berries and fresh country air was enough to put any anxious soul at ease. We came home laden with baskets full and a froze a bunch for a cold winter morning when I need to remember the peace, warmth and beauty of a strawberry patch.
Finally the tension and excitement of the dance show! I've finally culminated this dance process with the big show at a local theatre. There was chaos backstage with little kids, some barely 3 crying and wanting their mommies or having to pee. One of the girls came upstairs from the change rooms stating "don't go down there, there are a lot of angry little tutus!" People running around trying to change for their next number, or waiting excitedly, warming up for their turn to go on. My group had to perform 3 times, one at each show and believe me the excitement and physicallity of the whole thing wore me right out!
Yup - I've lived a lifetime all in one weekend.

Community

2010-06-12T05:13:00.000-07:00

It's a good feeling when you are a part of a team, part of a family or in the thick of community.
We all want to feel we belong.
As a teenager I spent most of my evenings hanging around downtown with the riff-raff. And we were a community - it was us against them (them being cops or authority figures). It was a terribly dysfunctional community but one you felt a part of nonetheless.
Presently I'm part of a dance class and this is a unique community of it's own. We speak the same language (or at least I try!) and we have a goal - to make this creative process work and flow.
The other day I was sitting on my front steps. They are your basic 70s cement poured that get all nice and warm in the sun which explains why the cats are always laying on them. On the top of the steps there was this ant struggling with the dead carcass of a spider (I'm NOT good with spiders but this one was dead so I was OK). It was attempting to maneuvre it down the steps which were like crawling down mountains for this ant. It was very determined and I watched it's progress with interest. Eventually the ant caught a good breeze which blew it down all the steps to the pavement. The ant continued to drag this thing along and I thought well, you've succeeded in getting it down the steps....now what. There was more trouble ahead! Once the ant arrived in the grass getting that dead spider through this jungle was even more difficult as it kept getting hung up in the blades of grass. But the ant carried on....on it's own. Finally, it must have been getting closer to home for soon there was a bevy of ants (more like uncles and aunts) there to help out. Community had arrived and they were soon making steady progress with their prize.
The Body of Christ is a Community - we have our Head (Christ) and we are all parts of the body, ideally working together and functioning as a healthy unit. There is so much we can get done when we work together! And everyone plays a part, everyone belongs, everyone is needed. It is always a sad thing when someone feels they don't belong and are not necessary or vital and eventually they slip away.
Let's do our best to encourage our family, spiritual or otherwise. Let them know they are loved and wanted, because they are!

Decisions, Decisions

2010-05-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

Summer has arrived early in Ontario....hopefully this isn't a big trick like she's only stopped in for a quick visit with plans to leave in less than a month visiting some other tropical location. Hey....it happens here.
So even though it is only the end of May we have enjoyed remarkable, July-like temperatures. My flowers are waaaay ahead blooming and socializing like crazy and my tan is pretty admirable.
Such lazy warm days make me think of summer reading. As you know, I love to read. But in the summer, I especially love to read lots of care-free, take-me-away-calgon, fiction. I just finished Jane Eyre (again) and I'm working my way through the first Harry Potter. Harry Potter made a big splash and still is. It definitely ruffled feathers in the Christian camp. I even came across a book written specifically on why you shouldn't read Harry Potter....please....is there nothing else you can put to paper?? Having never read it and as I appreciate a well-written fiction, I thought I would give it a go. It obviously stands the test of time. In my opinion, it's cleverly written - not by J.R. Tolkien standards but clever nonetheless.
However.....there still is a few heavy, indepth, winter/spring, educational reads I need to finish.....
They are sitting on my bedside table, tapping their fingers as a gentle reminder that this is NOT summer yet and I should continue to work towards wisdom and understanding via good solid reads.
Decisions, decisions.....I promise, once I finish Harry Potter (which won't be long) to finish that really good book on The Spirit of Sonship. Then there is that autiobiography on Fanny Crosby.
By then, summer, should it tarry, will offically be here and I can read all about faraway, mystical lands, faeries and other flying creatures, maybe a good mystery or two....so many decisions.

Nature is Winning

2010-05-22T04:54:00.000-07:00

It's gardening time! We are all in the throes of it. And that includes me. I'm planting, moving, raking and especially pulling.
I've pulled up so many mini trees that I'm starting to feel bad about it. Perfectly good maples, poplars and birches are being dug up and tossed. Seems rather odd when I know my daughter is on the other side of Canada planting trees as fast (faster) than I'm removing them from my yard.
It's not only trees but weeds and even perfectly good plants.
But I'm losing the fight.
Everywhere I look there are more and more. It's something like the Mickey Mouse cartoon where he cuts up the broom and suddenly thousands of little brooms pop up from the splinters. So I can just imagine what would happen if I simply did nothing for a whole summer.
The garden would begin to creep up onto the yard, the grass in the yard would grow probably up to my shoulders, the trees would be popping up everywhere. Now imagine what would happen if I left it for a whole year......I would have a veritable forest on the go!
You see, for all the damage humans do to nature, nature just takes the knock but knows, without too much difficulty, nature can win the fight. Just leave her be for a couple years and our roads, sidewalks, pretty patios and decks, even our houses would soon be engulfed into her green embrace.
Like so many other gardeners out there, I'm trying to assert my authority over a square patch of land I call my own. But really, nature is the boss. She's a I know you told me to sit down but I'm standing on the inside type, much like my son. We would all be smart if we just learned to work with her instead of against her.

Hide and Seek is Haunting Me

2010-05-14T05:23:00.000-07:00

This dance thing is taking over my life. I'm bruised and beaten, stiff and sore, but the big show is coming up in little over a month and with it's mouth wide open is swallowing me whole.
With the gracious help and support of my dance partner Kelly, we are fitting in extra practices, because I'm such a newby at this and in order to avoid looking like a total idiot on stage I need all the practice I can get.
The result being, the song we are dancing to "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap plays nonstop in my mind on a constant basis. I'm running through choreography in my sleep and every waking moment of my day! Point my toes, look up, jump, get ready for that handstand part, crumple to the ground, run.....it goes on and on.
What was life like before this all encroaching process? What did I possibly think about??? I got nothing. Just
"Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines" stuck in my head.

Sometimes, You Just Can't Help It

2010-05-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

Warning: This blog may contain some graphic material that is offensive to some readers.

If you are not a pet owner/lover you may be a little grossed out.

In my house, there lives not only humans but two cats and a dog. And they are just part of the family. They hang out with us ALL the time.

Especially, when I'm making dinner. Take this past week, for example. I was cutting up my chicken for a stir fry and suddenly, there is Amelia, right underneath me, looking very hopeful for a slip and spill of a morsel of chicken or maybe I'll just throw her one.

She gives me her biggest, most hopeful, most "you know I'm worth it" smile.

Then there is Frodo. He's a cool cat. He also showed up looking for a score on some chicken but basically ignores me. I try to get his picture but he spends most of his time washing himself and making like he's not interested. He is, but you'd never know it.

Now they both know they are not allowed to help themselves.

But sometimes, you just can't help it.

Party on Sheldon, Party off Cyndi

2010-04-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know if opposites attract; they probably do - the ying and the yang thang. But they certainly balance each other well.
Take my husband and I. Sheldon, he LOVES to party. He LOVES to party with everybody. If there is a party going on somewhere, he hates to miss it. He'll sniff it out and get in the middle and whoop, whoop whoop away.
But me well, it's not that I don't like people and socializing and partying on but I have limits. The party for me is good for about 3 hours and after that, I'm ready for some peace and quiet!
Take last week for example...we had a couple fellas come to minister at the church and speak on Evangelism. They were excellent and I highly recommend Steve Holmstrom's book "Vitamin E." Afterwards we went out for lupper, per se...By 4:00ish I was ready for some R & R on the couch with a good book and an oh-so-refreshing nap. But not Sheldon....from there they headed to a hot tub for some manly hot-tub talk (no idea what that could be - not sure I'd like to know either). And then on into the night. Sheldon wandered home around 11:00 happy and full from a day of partying. I was asleep. I think I partied out at the age of 20.
Party on Sheldon....Party off Cyndi...

Dance While You Can

2010-04-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

This morning, as I sit here, my left forearm and elbow are sore and achy - black and blue, my shins are both whining a little and so are my shoulder blades. No, I have not been in some horrible bike accident, though I have been riding my bike to work again.
The fact is, I got this crazy notion to try Contemporary Dance. Did I mention I will be 47 this year???
Since last September I have been going faithfully, every Thursday, to a contemporary dance classs. This was an "adult" class so I thought - I'll give er a go..gotta dance while you can.
But eventually the class being small was integrated in with a much MUCH younger group. We are talking lithe, agile teenagers. So now the class consists of me (the oldest and zilch experience), then there are two ladies in their 30s and 40s - both dance teachers, and finally we finish up with two lithe, agile, been dancing since they were 3 teenagers. I am out of my league here, believe me. My teacher is wonderful and patient with us all and throws out these funky dance phrases where everybody nods and understands and I just look at her blankly until she explains what it means.
So come June, we will be participating in a performance at a local theatre and right now we are working on "partnering". This involves a lot of rolling around, falling to the floor (hence the black and blue elbow), lifting and throwing.
I'm not a quitter so I'm seeing this through. And I've learned a lot - the girls and my teacher are wonderful and we have a lot of fun. If only my body could appreciate all I'm doing for it.

In the Society of Dogs

2010-04-09T05:19:00.000-07:00

Before the sun is up, before all the stars go to bed and the moon makes an exit, Amelia and I are out for our morning walk. But we are not alone, no, we are in good company. There is a plethora of shadowy figures out doing the same thing at this ridiculous hour.
First there is Daisy (and owner). Daisy is a bassett hound that stumps along in a funny manner due to her short legs. Her ears flop about and she kind of waddles. If she is going past our house before I have Amelia out the door the raucous barking begins. Sometimes Daisy has her pet Cat tagging along. First Daisy (and owner) will waddle by and not far behind will be the Cat. This is a beautiful orange and white persian that is so amiable she/he does not know that not all dogs are like Daisy and it's never good if Amelia and I run into him/her. Not that Ami would hurt the Cat but she sure wants to chase her!
My favourite is the guy on the bike. My first winter when I moved to this neighborhood I would find what looked like bicycle tracks in the snow on the road. I could not figure that one out. Three feet of snow with this clean long thin line from a bike. But eventually I ran into "the guy with the bike" and the mystery was solved. This fella is out, usually before 6:00 am riding his bike through the neighborhood in all kinds of weather. Eventually, about 50 feet behind him will come a retriever mix running full tilt with the occasional stop to pee or sniff chasing "the guy with the bike." The dog is not leashed, he simply follows "the guy with the bike." Sometimes the dog is a good two blocks behind and I think "the guy with the bike" is gonna lose his dog. But no, that dog just keeps following. Amelia and I will be walking along and soon out of the darkness I can see "the guy with the bike" coming down the street. Amelia and I know what's coming next. She gets very excited so I pull her leash in tighter. Then we see these two red lights bouncing and blinging in the dark. These would be around the dog's collar, I assume for protection so the average car would see the dog. When the dog zooms by us he barks loudly and boisterously. I've yet to figure out if this is the dog saying "Get out of my way! I'm following "the guy with the bike!" or if he's saying "Ha, Ha, Ha! I'm running free, look at me and you are stuck on a leash!!" Either way, it is one happy dog.
Another is a very sedate German Shepherd that is very well behaved and stays close to it's owner. Occasionally, the German shepherd will be a little rebellious and bark a good morning to us.
There is quite a society going on in my neck of the woods. Long before the average human is up. I'm in good company.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-02T05:06:00.000-07:00

It doesnt get any better than this. The weather is amazing - warm sunny for the next 4 days, my whole family is home under one roof, all safe and sound and it's Easter! My favourite Holiday!

Easter encapsulates my love for chocolate, my love for family, my love for new life and new beginnings and my love for my Saviour all in one. Plus - all the pressure of finding just the right Christmas present does not apply. I mean, what more could a girl/housecat ask for!!

So here's to you world. Enjoy this special Easter time. Enjoy your many blessings, remember there is a fresh start everyday, give thanks and may your heart be filled with gratefulness, eat chocolate! And take a cruise around to see new life sprouting, growing, starting the circle all over again.

Time for a Change

2010-03-26T05:20:00.000-07:00

Right now, as I'm looking out my back window, I can see the slightly fuzzy beginnings of buds on the neighbor's oak tree. My crocuses are ready to bloom and the tulips are making tentative noises about wanting to come out and play. The birds are back too, swooping and carrying on with Mr. Robin taking on Mr. Cardinal for who can make the most noise. I believe it's time for a change.

It's time to take this off my front door.....

And it's time to switch from my happy waving snowman sugarbowl

To my majolica-like, found it in Florida sugarbowl!

I'm ready for a few changes....how about you?

We're Talking Hair

2010-03-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

There are some people out there who really like my hair.

"You are so lucky - you have such nice thick hair." I get that one fairly often.

"You hardly have a gray hair on your head!"....true again. They are there, poking out in funky wiry ways but they are a minority and at my age....past 45...well, that's nothing to sneeze at.

But like most women, my hair can drive me crazy.

It's curly in some places, straight in others. On a day where there is even a slight hint of humidity it expands and takes on a life of it's own, better known as "frizz". Now I know there are shampoos and conditioners that claim they can tame frizz but I have yet to find one that can take on my hair on a rainy day, or a foggy day and especially a windy, rainy foggy day (not a chance).

So I've tried a number of things. Let's take a look shall we? Fair warning - I do not photograph well hence the reason I'm usually on the other side of the camera.

There is a blow dry till you die and then finish it with a straight iron method:

There is the add some mousse and let the curl just happen method

There is the just let it dry method (I don't recommend this one - it is like the mousse method but worse). Note - this was taken on a non-humid day. Just multiply this by X4 on a humid day and you get the picture.

So what I have resorted to is often letting it grow long in the summer so I can ponytail the masses when humidity takes over and Medusa complex sets in. I've often considered cutting the lot of it quite short but with some curly and some straight....not sure how that would work out. Plus my husband get into a bit of a funk when I talk "short" hair.

Now my daughter, on the other hand, inherited my full head of hair without any of the frizz and no curl. She gets up in the morning, gives her head a little shake and voila - perfect. She doesn't even brush it....ever....

But me....this love/hate hair relationship just continues on. Someday, maybe when I'm all grown up we will have come to some sort of agreement. Until then, I will carry on, complete with mousse, flat iron, blow dryer and hair elastics.

Onion Denied

2010-03-12T05:34:00.000-08:00

For the past 20+ years I have lived with a man who hates or better yet, detests onions.

That means no onions for me.
No onions to cook, smell or eat for over 20 years.
I miss French Onion soup, onions in my food, onions on my hamburger etc. etc.
I could, of course, continue to eat these but there would be no kiss good night for me.
Onions make my hubby literally gag so I have denied myself this right and privilege.
The other day my son had some hooligans, I mean friends, over to watch movies and one of them brought chips.
Sour cream and ONION chips to be exact. No one opened them so there they sat in our snack cupboard. Since I don't have onions in the house my kids then grew up never eating them, hence they are not that interested in them and believe me the hubby wasn't about to crack that bag open.
One day when I came home from work there they were....waiting for me. I'm usually very disciplined but my moments of weakness usually hit when I get home from work, tired, stressed and hungry.
I opened that bag of sour cream and ONION chips and had a few...had a few more....heaven help me. It's fake onion flavouring I know but onion all the same. A little blast from the past.
Once in a while a little contraband doesn't hurt....right?

Patriotism to the Max

2010-03-05T05:26:00.000-08:00

If you live in Canada you can't help but to have been affected by the Olympics over the last couple of weeks. We've been transformed into a country of red and white, a country of flag waving and heartfelt anthem singing. It's everywhere. We are Patriotic to the max.
On the day of the big game (you know which one I mean - Canada's game - Hockey), we were in Toronto to get our daughter back to University.
Having spent a last couple of hours in an IMax watching Avatar we landed back in the lobby just as the game had ended.
"What's the score? Who won??" Everyone was asking.
And there on a TV over a bar we could see our men's Canadian Hockey team standing on the podium in the middle. A dead giveaway - we won. Heartfelt congratulations were exchanged and then we stepped outside onto the street to head home.
In the middle of downtown Toronto
Right after the BIG game that we had won.
I was not prepared.
If I had not known we had just won a hockey game I would have thought Godzilla was loose and stomping through town.
People screaming and yelling everywhere, on the verge of riot.
Cars honking and beeping everywhere
Flag, flags and more flags waving in the air.
It was true pandemonium.
As we inched our way through the streets in our car we stopped to let some of the crowd thin.
I stuck my hand up against the car window and received a resounding high five from some guy walking by - a red Canadian flagged mittened hand smacked the other side.
I saw the proverbial boyfriend helping the proverbial drunk girlfriend get home as sheyelled and wavied her flag.
I saw police doing their best to keep order and those same police also getting hugs and high fives from passers by.
Suddenly we heard this banging and I thought oh oh....gunshots! But no, it was a bunch of guys crowded into a truck with a snowblade on the front of it. As they headed down the street flags waving they banged the blade up and down on the road.
There was even a oneman band performing on a string of drums that surrounded his waist and blowing on a whistle. He sounded like a complete marching band on his own.
Talk about a victory celebration!
Go Canada Go!

Winding Down

2010-02-27T04:58:00.001-08:00

This week at work I had the opportunity to visit several long term care homes. Two of them were "older" homes and one was pretty bright and shiny new. All three of them were filled with precious souls - sleeping, staring, wandering, thinking and waiting. They are at the end of their journey, they are winding down to the finish line.
This is a difficult topic for me. We live in a society with the glut of them being elderly. We do not have the resources in place or the finances to meet the needs of this group. We live longer.
It would be nice if there was a comfortable affordable place where everyone still felt needed and necessary, no matter what age.
Long term care nursing homes can be a place that is warm and comfortable, still provide a feeling of being a part society and have the structure in place to meet the physical care necessary for those winding down.
They can also be places where we feel, forgotton and unneccessary, where we are just waiting. They can be very lonely.
We could look after all our family members at our own homes - keep them part of the family. But this is not always possible. Many of us need to work and there is no one at home to care for those who need to be monitored on a full time basis. In fact the burden of care can wipe out a whole family, especially if dementia is involved. Most of us don't have the finances available to make this a reality. Some of the elderly really have no one left - they are on their own, living in drafty old homes or lonely apartments.
The older nursing homes I visited were cramped. Filled with people and paraphenalia. Some rooms having 4 beds in them - little old people all sharing a tiny space. The newer home was roomy and bright - at the most only two beds in a room. They even came complete with little "porch" areas built out into the hallway where one could sit and watch the goings on of their world. But the warmth and sense of belonging was prevalent in all of them. I met "Tootsie" a little dog in one of the older homes that trotted around, visiting everyone. I met Oscar a dashing young man in his younger days, still very bright. And I met a lovely old lady who didn't say much, just followed us around, clutching her doll tightly. She was looking after her baby and had her nails painted to match her dress. Some of these people had jobs that were very important to them; folding up food bibs, helping to sorting laundry, delivering mail to residents. Something, anything to feel useful.
The elderly, those winding down, are such a vital and necessary part of our society. One we need to look after and honour. I know this is what God would want us to do. The question is....how.

I Did It!

2010-02-19T05:19:00.000-08:00

Well....It's finally happened. I've taken the Leap, the plunge, turned the corner, crossed the finish line whatever you want to call it.
I finally found a new frumpy sweater.
One that's warm with long sleeves to cover my poor wittle wrists and a working zipper.
One with pockets for my endless supply of kleenex.
One that is Frodo friendly meaning if I pick him up his claws don't become permanently entrenched and I can easily put him down again and not have a big 15lb cat stuck to my chest all day.
One that is big enough to put on over other layers and definitely fits into the frumpy description.
You may wonder what happened to old faithful, the original frumpy sweater. The one with holes in the pockets, only a 2 of the 6 buttons left on it and has paint stains on the back. I couldn't quite let her go so I lovingly gave her a good washing and stashed her in the back of my closet.
What.....it'll be great for future messy chores when I'm still trying to keep warm but don't want to get my NEW frumpy sweater covered in paint splatters or dead leaves or whatever.
NFS (New frumpy sweater) was purchased for a phenomenal price at Value Village. You can't put old wine in new wine skins ya know. I'm definitely verging on the well-aged old wine vintage so a well-used wine skin is what I was looking for.
I'm wearing my NFS now, it's working good, I'm ready for the next 10 years.

That Beautiful Smile

2010-02-12T05:13:00.000-08:00

She had the most beautiful smile and lovely bright eyes. She was young and full of life. Her picture was everywhere you went smiling back at you. And we all wanted her to come home. Collectively,
In agreement
We all connected with Jessica. All the parents longed for their lost daughter to come back, all the children prayed for their missing sister, all the grandparents ached for their precious grandchild.
And when she was found a profound sense of loss, grief and anger blanketed the entire region. The day they announced on the news Jessica's body had been recovered in the woods near Tweed a friend of mine was shopping in the mall. She felt everyone looked in need of a shower - dirty, tired and oppressed.
We are a small, quiet rural region and murders of this type are shocking and unheard of. Even worse, the accused murderer, a sexual predator and serial killer lived amongst us for many months preying on other women and responsible for the murder of another woman, Marie, less than 5 months previous.
A man of authority, Commander of our local Air Force Base no less.
We are shaken to the core and our trust is shattered. For the moment a man in uniform instigates a knee-jerk reaction in me of suspiscion.
Are you really who you say you are?
I don't like feeling this way and I know in time it will pass.
Jessica is safe now. No one can hurt her any more. She will forever be 27 with lovely bright eyes and a beautiful smile.
I pray for the healing to begin not only for Jess' family but for the whole region, for all those who work in the Armed Forces and everyone else who diligently cried out, insisting this darkness be exposed and justice initiated.
We have a long road ahead of us and still many questions in need of answers.
"But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Father God, we need you more then ever - open your floodgates of Grace and wash us clean with your Love. Amen

February Fallout

2010-02-05T05:39:00.000-08:00

First, let me congratulate all my fellow northerners for making it thus far through winter. In another 6 weeks or so, this will all be behind us! FYI - last year on Feb. 9/09 I spied my first Robin. Not sure if I will top that but if anyone sees/hears one, let me know. All in all, it's been an easy winter in Ontario. Only one major snowstorm (so far) and a few nasty cold nights but nothing we can't handle.
And yet, there is palpable tension in the air. We are getting restless and listless. We are getting antsy and (let's put our cards on the table) bitchy. At work with the office under the pressure of trying to meet budget deadlines my coworkers are on the edge. I want to clean, I want to do nothing. I want fresh air, I want to hibernate. There is no rhyme or reason - it's just February Fallout.
So, I'm going to keep my wits about me. A vacation in the sunny south would probably be a great cure-all but as that is not possible I'm going to count my blessings and remember to be thankful for all God has given and provided, another great cure-all.
Thank you God for my beautiful family,
My excellent health
My job
My very good friends
The hope and hint of spring - I'm looking for Mr. Robin who you are sending my way
Thank you God for so many blessings and your constant provision....I'm feeling better already.
Thank you God February is such a short month - obviously You knew what you were doing.

The Languages I Speak

2010-01-22T05:23:00.000-08:00

I thought I only spoke one language fluently - English. I've dabbled in Italian and of course took French in school which was, as the kids say these days, an Epic Fail. But it has occured to me I speak two other languages quite well. That would be Charismatic Christianese and Governmentalian.

Common words/phrases you would hear in Charismatic Christianese: called, sensed, led by the spirit, claimed, believed, portal (this one is still a little iffy to me), establish, authority, honour.

Common words/phrases you would hear in Governmentalian: processes, initiatives, budget constraints, targets, champions, project, data analysis, input, tasks.

So you see, I can sit in a church setting and discuss quite fluently and understand all the lingo around me and likewise I can sit in probably any Government meeting and get a pretty good picture of what is going on.

It would be rather funny if I started mixing the two up.....picture Cyndi sitting in on a meeting with a number of government bigwigs:
Government Figure - "What are your thoughts on the budget issues?"
Cyndi- "I feel the budget constraints can be established if we claim our authority and I sense I am called by the spirit to support the initiatives"

And cue the crickets......

You Can't Beat a Good Sunbeam

2010-01-15T05:03:00.000-08:00

In our house, and all year long, there is competition for a good sunbeam. If you find it, you take it.

That means I have pets and people curled up in odd places thinking vicariously about the beach in the dead of winter or just warming their old bones.

I'm not very good at curling into a ball on the floor. I don't find that too comfortable. But once that sunbeam hits the chair in the front room, or creeps over my bed, I'm all in.

Around lunch time, come January and February I will open the back door leaving only the screen door closed and allow the sun to flood the dining room. Immediately there are chairs reposititioned and pets vying for a spot on the floor.

Sunbeams are truly a gift from above. Enjoy yours!

I Am Woman

2010-01-08T12:28:00.001-08:00

All in all, it's been a very productive day. But then again, I'm a woman, w-o-m-a-n, I'll say it again (thanks Helen Reddy). I got up, walked Amelia, spent some time with Jesus, did a work out, took Randi to the doctors, then took Randi all over the place (Shopper's Drug Mart, bank, OSAP place, the Mall, Walmart, Kelseys), then we picked up a couple movies for tonight. By the way, it's movie night tonight. Finally picked up groceries and back to Shopper's to pick up Randi's perscription. All accomplished before 2:30! We shovelled the driveway, started some cookies and enjoyed a Tim-Tam Slam. This is something new to me - Randi introduced me to it. Let's just say it involves Hot chocolate and chocolate cookies known as Tim-Tams and is very yummy!
So, feeling pretty multi-tasky, I thought I would start some laundry. Last I checked there was a load to be started. Upstairs, I find my husband has left me about two full hampers full! He tends to save up his laundry, much like he saves up his overtime, and then Kablam! There it is! Enough laundry to spend the day in suds and folding motion. So I pile up the two hampers full into one, gather up at least another hamper full from the rest of the household and attempt to stuff that into the already overflowing hamper, hobble carefully down the stairs with my clothing mountain, around the corner, shuffle down the hall, and hobble again down the stairs to the basement grabbing a plastic bag along the way because I might as well do the kitty litter while I'm in the basement (I'm a woman). Lo and behold there is that other load of laundry I was thinking about.
Pride cometh before a fall my friends - never forget that.

Resolute - To Be or Not to Be

2010-01-01T05:31:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone. Today is January 1, 2010. The house is very quiet. Dog is snoring behind me, both cats curled up on the couch, husband out like a light and my son, who wandered in around 5:00 am this morning will not likely see the light of day until this afternoon. There is snow falling of its own accord outside and not a breath of wind to kick it around. All this gives me lots of time to consider the year behind me and the year ahead.

I'm not one for making resolutions. The dictionary describes being resolute as "being firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion." So to make a resolution you need to be determined about it, you need to be set in it's purpose and clear on your opinion. This seems to be something longterm and ongoing whereas resolutions, particularly New Year's ones, are more often than not fleeting and temporary in our culture.

I personally am resolved and determined to continue to look after myself, to live a balanced lifestyle, to be open to growth and learning and wisdom that comes from the experiences of life. I'm resolved and determined to continue serving Jesus, to listen to hear His voice, and (if I'm getting any better at this Christian thing) will obey what He calls me to do.

Which leads me to an experience I have never forgotten. When my daughter was just a toddler I would often plop her in the stroller and head down town, not far from where we were living. On the corner at the end of our street was a house close to the sidewalk where an old man was often sitting in his enclosed porch watching the world go by. He was dirty and unkempt, usually smoking in an old ripped T-shirt. I would zip by this old man and generally ignore him. One day I felt I should stop and chat - just say hello or "nice day" or something. I didn't. I was in a hurry, he did not look like a nice man to chat with and he made me uncomfortable. This urge to stop and chat stuck with me for about a week and for about a week I continued to ignore the still small voice. Then one morning I woke up to find this old man had been murdered. Stabbed to death on his little enclosed porch for I believe cigarettes or cigarette money. I realized all God had asked me to do was simply show this man some care and kindness, nothing more, just a good morning how are you. And I missed this opportunity when this man's life was so soon coming to an end. I wish I could say the lesson was learned but there have been many other situations where I have missed or purposely ignored what God has wanted me to do.

So if I'm to make any resolution it is the same one I have made for the past 20 years. To continue to look after myself, to live a balanced lifestyle, to learn and grow from life's experiences and continue serving Jesus - listen to His voice and hopefully obey.

Finding the Light

2009-12-25T05:53:00.000-08:00

Today is Christmas Day 2009! Merry Christmas everyone and God's blessings to you all!

In a place of honour, sitting in the middle of our dining room table is this little Christmas candle holder I inherited from my Grandmother many years ago. It is very 1950s, made of porcelain and seen better days. There are three wise man around where you place a candle. When I first received it there used to be a star attached to a chain that you would slip onto the candle in the middle.

The funny thing is the wise men are not looking at the star - they are all looking (and heading) in three different directions. This is always a big joke to us. Whoever made this ornament simply missed the significance that the wise men were looking and following the star.

May you all find the Light of Jesus this season! If you can't seem to find it try turning around....maybe you are just heading in the wrong direction!

Traditions

2009-12-18T07:35:00.001-08:00

Tradition - the word itself evokes and number of reactions: stiff, appropriate, expected, warm, reliable, comforting. Tradition is right and tradition is wrong. Somewhere in the middle, like justice and mercy - there is a balance I'm always searching for.
I once had a conversation with an older women about how important tradition is to my kids. They want the same things we did last year at Christmas to happen this year. They want a Kindersurprise - it's tradition. They want Christmas cereal - it's tradition or to open one present on Christmas Eve. She replied, and this was a startling revelation, "well that's the way you raised them - tradition is important to them because that is what you taught them." I did not realize this. What if every Christmas, I had mixed things up and said "Let's do something completely different this year!" I wonder what kind of children I would then have raised. Too late - the job is done and I'm just being retrospective.
When we remove traditions it's like pulling the rug out and you lose your sense of boundary. Suddenly you have to search around for the new boundary. Is that such a bad thing? Probably not - they say you should try something new all the time.
But tradition truly has it's place - the warm comforting reliable sense it brings. It binds us together and is part of what family is about. I know at Christmas time I can rely on the the firemen pulling out the old firetruck and decorating it with a thousand lights that flash and bling at the firehall. I know there will be Turtles to eat and my Dad's cholesterol-killing Scottish Eggs. I know there will be Christmas music playing in the malls and the pathetic string of paper stars connected with straws I made when I was in Grade 1 will be at the back of our Christmas tree. Jesus himself encouraged us to continue the tradition of taking the bread and wine until His return - "do this in remembrance of me" but He also was seriously turned off with the traditions deeply set in the religious leaders.
So we are back to the balance of tradition. Not too far to the left and not too far to the right.
I hope you can find it yourself -for you and yours.

Guests Have Arrived!

2009-12-11T05:05:00.000-08:00

There was a knock on my door the other day. So I opened it. There she was - Winter. She just "arrived" with very little notice. At first she brought me a beautiful landscape with intricately etched trees and branches contrasted against a baby blue sky. It was beautiful and I took pictures and thanked her for it.

But she is a petulant guest and before I knew it she wanted to party, raise a rumpus and make some noise. So she brought the whole region to a stop with her tantrum. Snow days for all the children, impossible driving conditions, snow, rain, freezing rain, the whole gamut.

And, if that was not enough, she invited a good friend of hers, the North Wind. Down plunged the temperatures, the lock on our front door whistles a mournful cry as it is buffered with an icy blast. Even Frodo my fur-lined feline who loves outdoors spends as little time as possible out there and whisks back in like a silver gray bullet when I open the door. The trees clack and clatter and the windows shake. I will be glad when she tires of his company and he goes back home for a while. Except for very brief moments, I'm cold all the time and socks, slippers and blankets are my constant companions.

Yes, winter has arrived in Canada. We have about 4 months together ahead of us so we had best make the most of it!

A Good Day

2009-12-05T04:54:00.000-08:00

It's a good day for this house cat. I woke up early, as I always do with the assurance that my house is full and all is well. Last night my daughter came home from University. So there she is sleeping in her bed, my son is sleeping in his, hubby is tucked away as is the cats and Amelia.
At this stage in life, when everyone is going in every direction it is a wonderful feeling to have your whole family in one place, safe and sound.
I know these moments will be few and far between. My children are grown up and making their own lives with their own plans. This is how it should be and I'm proud of them. It is not right or healthy for me to try to keep them all to myself.
But I do love having them around. I miss their presence and their spirit when they are away.
So I cherish these short-lived moments now when the we are all together, this single unit cell that will soon begin to multiply and grow into their own unique families.
Never forget that each phase in life has it's joys and value. Even those crazy times when you have little ones under your feet, never a moment to yourself, always a nose to wipe or a face to clean.
I'm enjoying my freedom and independence again. I'm enjoying the fact that my laundry has dropped to less than half what it used to be. If I want to head out the door I can without considering the problem of finding a babysitter. And I'm enjoying, right now, having the whole family together. It's a good day.

That Rollercoaster Feeling

2009-11-27T05:04:00.000-08:00

Can you feel it starting to build? I can. That Rollercoaster is edging its way to the top....click, click, click on the track. The pull of gravity pushing me into my seat. In a very short time we will be right on the top for a second of weightlessness and then - WOOSH! Here we go.....Christmas parties, christmas shopping, christmas baking, christmas wrapping, christmas concerts, christmas kids stuff....look out here comes a corner! WOOSH Christmas family times, Christmas tree decorating, Christmas movies and shows, Buy a new Christmas outfit, Christmas PJs and chintzy Christmas sweaters.

My suggestion? Enjoy the ride! Throw your hands up if you dare and give thanks for the Saviour's birth. Enjoy the highs and lows and watch out for those quick corners that find you exhausted and stressed.

Suddenly, ride's over. You are left grateful and full of life. Can you feel it starting to build?

November

2009-11-21T14:03:00.000-08:00

I have never been a big fan of the month of November, regardless of the fact this is the month is was born in. November is cold, rainy, gray. It is close enough to Christmas to start to make you stress about all you have to do but not close enough to start to get excited about the festivities.
But, lately, especially this year, I have a change of heart towards dreary November. In Ontario we have had gorgeous weather with very little rain. And because of that I have had the time to appreciate November's charms.
The evening and morning skies are painted with the most delicate pastels like baby pinks, peaches and yellows. They seem fragile like a bath bubble and translucent. Gone are all those vibrant oranges and reds from the fall leaves, now shaken off by the wind and scooped off everyone's lawns. Left behind to enhance November's tentative colours are the black brown limbs of trees; etchings in contrast. I'm naturally drawn to this contrast and many of my photos try to capture it - light against dark together. I love black and white photography for that very reason.
November is a good reason to begin layering up in warm sweaters and wrapping blankets around you while you watch a movie. It's a good reason to enjoy hot chocolate laced with a little something to warm your tummy. Comfort food like grilled cheese and hearty soups are on the menu. The harvest moon seems to puff up twice it's size and takes on a life of it's own.
Duncan Sheik wrote a haunting beautiful ballad called "November" that seems to capture it's somewhat melancholy mood.
Soon the Christmas season will start in earnest and our attention will be turned elsewhere. I hope wherever you are your November has been a good one. Take a deep breath of the frosty air, look up at the beautiful sky or snuggle in for a long winter's nap.

A Treasure Lost

2009-11-13T04:45:00.001-08:00

I had a Birthday in the last week and one of the things I did was meet a coworker for lunch. We were born on the same day, in the same year at the same hospital - seems we were nursey mates! We were definitely not mixed up at birth as I'm a dead ringer for my mother and she looks a lot like hers. But I digress.....For lunch we had Chinese food and upon opening our "shared" fortune cookie this is what we found "A treasure lost will be found within the month." This would have been entirely accurate for me had I opened it a year ago on my birthday for it was a year ago just before my birthday that my car took an unplanned holiday away. This story has been told before, but not to my blogger friends so here goes!
It was last year right after Halloween that we decided to meet our daughter Randi and a friend of hers in Toronto to spend the day together. As she is in school on the other side of TO, this was a good place to meet in the middle and, well, I was missing her. So we packed up a couple bags of left over Halloween candy and met at her friend's place in Mississauga.
The plan was to leave the car in a parking lot and take the subway to downtown Toronto - which is exactly what we did. We had a lovely time and as it was getting late in the day we hopped back on the subway for the 45 minute return ride. Upon arriving we headed back to where the car was parked in the lot but, funny enough, seems the car was not where we thought we had parked it. So we walked around the parking lot, again, and again. Went back inside the subway building and at this point my husband knows where he parked it and he KNOWS it is stolen. I, on the other hand am in denial. Back out to the parking lot we go again to walk around and around. Reality is finally setting in. The car is not here. I'm shocked! This is a 10-year-old car with nothing fancy about it. It was locked when we left it. How could someone just get in and get it started and drive away without a key???
We call the police and advise them of the crime - there is little they can do. This is Toronto and cars are stolen every hour, every day. We call the insurance company and again, nothing they can do. So we say goodbye to our daughter and her friend Heather and get back on the subway to make our way back downtown to catch a train home. At this point I'm beginning to cry. My poor car - all alone with some strange people doing who knows what to it and going who knows where. Not to mention all my favourite CDs in the car and all that candy!!!
When we arrive in Belleville some very nice lady (an angel, I'm sure) drove us home from the train station. We began to get a clear picture from the police. Seems our type of car is very easy to break into and starts with very little effort. Did not know that. Also, very likely it is in pieces by now and will never be found again on this earth.
The insurance company advised us there was a waiting period before we could begin looking at a claim and consider buying another car. I spent the next couple of weeks biking to work or hitching rides. My husband on the other hand was now having visions of a nice new car....bright shiny with all the bells and whistles. He is getting very excited about this prospect.
Then, out of the blue, about three weeks later we get a call from the Toronto police. They had found our car parked a few blocks away from where we had left it along with about 4 other stolen cars. Yes, it was in once piece. A little dirty perhaps but all there.
The old girl was returned to Belleville, washed and buffed and returned to us. Everything was still in the car - my CDs and all our odds and sodds. The only thing missing was the candy! This 10-year old car now has a very extensive alarm system on it.
The moral of the story is this: always remember to ask God's blessing on your journey - complete with his angels about the car. I'm pretty sure those angels stuck with the car and harrassed whoever took it until they let her go. Also, be prepared that husbands will begin to dream of newer fancier models and don't like it when such dreams are pulled out from beneath them. My treasure lost was returned - within the month.

Christmas Shopping

2009-11-07T04:48:00.000-08:00

Not that I have to mention it but Christmas is fast approaching. That means all you big kids are beginning to consider what to buy other big kids and little kids for Christmas.
I had given it some thought and for this year and I decided I would try to buy on a more local basis. When I mean local I mean stuff made in Canada, being Canadian and all. I had no idea how difficult this would be. It seems everything is made in China!
Nearly every piece of clothing I pick up "made in China". Every litte kitchen do-dad or piece of plastic "made in China." Toys, stuffed animals, games "made in China." One would think they are just raking in the bucks albeit in small amounts as this stuff is inexpensive. So one has to ask - why is 90% of everything we go to buy cheap and made in China? I even spotted a Roots (clearly Canadian) sweater and upon checking the label - you guessed it "made in China".
There are some things I can guarantee you can buy Canadian without too much difficulty: maple syrup, cheese, local native goods such as moccasins.
I've decided to expand my goal to include Canada and United States. Today I will be going to an art and craft show called "The Maker's Hands". I'm pretty sure it will be mostly "Made in China" free and perhaps I can pick up a gift or two without blowing the bank up.
This is a bit of a challenge and I know there will be a gift or two under the tree compliments of China but with all the focus on local products and our economy I'm willing to give it a go.

The Many Hats We Wear

2009-10-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

It will be Halloween in about 3 days which got me thinking of the many different things I have transformed into on Oct. 31.

For the longest time - seemed like years, I was a skunk. I still remember the fur tail made stiffly with wire and the white strip down the back.

I was a clown once and of course a vampire.

One of my favourites was the back end of a horse - no kidding. My sister was the front and we would get into position with me at the back underneath the sheet at each house. Then to speed up the process of getting to the next house we would separate and run to the next house. Back to the back I would go and under the sheet for the next Trick or Treat! I don't remember getting a lot of candy that year......

One year my girlfriend and I went as "Electro Woman and Dina Girl" (1970 something, I was Dina Girl). At one house we stopped at a rather drunk fella opened the door and slurred ya gotta do a chtrick....

So we sang the intro for the show with great flourish. He was pretty impressed!

See video.....I think I could still pull it off...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqB36FsglEE&feature=related

Time for the Ice Scraper

2009-10-22T17:30:00.001-07:00

It seems since the son got his license he has really taken over my car. I never see it anymore and that means I am STILL riding my bike. I'm not good with cold weather (not enough insulation on the bones) and my extremities in particular are always cold but as I have to get to work somehow, the bike will have to do.
So the other morning there is a definite chill in the air and I can see my breath as I take Amelia for her morning walk (in the dark, under the stars). Taking note of this I dress appropriately for my ride to work.
Extra sweater -check
Mittens - check
Ear warmers underneath my helmet - check.
Ice scraper....
Ice scraper, I hear you ask?? Aren't those for Canadian car windshields on winter mornings so you can see where you are going? You would be right but as everyone was scraping their windshields I was scraping the seat of my bike. Not that the frost would make it difficult for me to see but, well, it would have made for an uncomfortable bike ride you understand. So I scraped away and off I went.
I biked down a hill and the cold air brought tears to my eyes and took my breath away. I biked underneath trees dropping golden snowflakes all around me. I did my best to keep my hands warm and failed. I was very tempted to bike through the leaves all piled up along the curb of the road like kids waiting for the Christmas Parade but I thought better of it as I was not sure what was underneath all those colours and hitting a big stick with a curb on one side and cars zipping by you very close to the other would not be a good idea.
It's a whole new experience biking in the fall. My sister - bless her heart, will bike all year long, straight through the winter. I should add she will be turning 50 next year. I salute you Heather, ice scraper raised high.

I think that Tree is Smiling...

2009-10-16T04:47:00.000-07:00

Some people would call me a tree hugger and they could be right, although I'm not sure exactly what the definition of a tree hugger is. But I am someone who loves trees - they calm me down, they keep me cool on a hot summer day, they whisper in the summer, rustle in the fall and clack in the winter.

Trees seem to have personalities to me. For example Maple Trees are like moms - they always are welcoming with branches low enough, inviting every child around to hop on up and snuggle into the crook of a branch. You will often find a big swing attached to them! Whereas Oak trees are like beautiful, estranged ladies. They have lofty branches, looking way down at us and elegant leaves. Pines and cedars are a race of their own - never changing, solid fellows that can take the weight of the winter snow easily (can you hear them singing "hi ho, hi ho"??). And then there are birches and willows, elms and sumacs.

I was out for a visit to "The County" last week and happened to snap a shot of a tree elf - no really I did (see picture). He's peeking out at me quite suprised thinking I couldn't see him - but I did.

I guess it is true - I am a tree hugger, lover of trees, whatever. I need them around me, rustling, laughing, clacking and whispering. Scripture says the "the trees of the fields will clap their hands." So, you see. I'm not crazy after all!

Old Habits Die Hard

2009-10-09T05:21:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things I have ever had to personally conquer is/was smoking. I had my first cigarette at the age of 14. Coughed, hacked and felt terribly nauseous. The second one, well I was hooked. By the time I was 18 I was up to nearly two packs a day! Yikes!!
But, I had a new lease on life at the age of 20 (that being a personal invitation from Jesus to start all things new with a fresh batch of mercies each morning), and with that extra booster of strength and power I began to kick that habit. I had my last cigarette somewhere around the age of 22 - actually it was only half a cigarette. I am very happy to say the shackles have been removed. BUT I know danger when I see it and it would seem I am a smokeaholic - meaning cigarette smoke still smells pretty good to me and I had better stay clear of them because one of them would probably send me back on the road to two packs a day. I am definitely not someone who can "take it or leave it". I'm all in.
Which, sadly, leads me to my Frumpy Sweater. You know, the one I was supposed to dispose of some time ago. The one always covered in cat hair and toothpaste dribble down the front with holes in the pockets etc. etc. Yes, I admit it, I'm wearing it as we type. But, I want you to know, I've tried, really tried, to let the old girl go. I bought one sweater to replace it but it was so cute I wanted to keep it nice. Besides every time I picked up Frodo the cat he would get his claws stuck in this sweater and it would take at least two people to extricate us. Then, I bought another sweater; pockets, comfortable and Frodo Friendly. I threw it in the wash and lo and behold it shrunk! So here I am, still wearing old Frumpy.
It took me quite a few years to kick cigarettes - may take me a while to shed this sweater. Old habits die hard ya know.

October's Beauty

2009-10-03T14:25:00.001-07:00

It's October in Ontario and truly one of the most beautiful times of the year to be here. The trees take centre stage and show off their gorgeous colours, the fields dress in coats of muted tones - gold, burnt umbre, purple and yellow, and there is just enough coolness in the air to help you sleep at night. I should mention the incredible abundance of produce. It is a real treat to the senses walking through the local market: bright orange pumpkins, peppers in all shapes and sizes, squash, potatoes, apples, apples and more apples, tomatoes and frothy stands of mums!

In a week's time we will be celebrating Thanksgiving here, and we reallyhave so much to be thankful for. You should come visit! There is always lots of food on the table and at least two pies for dessert!

Ami in the Window

2009-09-23T16:02:00.000-07:00

The picture above is one I, and my whole family, come home to on a regular basis. We walk up the steps and there, sitting in her favourite chair, the one she chewed up as a puppy, is Amelia.

She is waiting, and watching, and waiting. She waits for me to come home, or my son to come home or anybody to come home. And while she waits she watches whatever is going on outside the big window to a world she can see but can't go to. Often she just falls asleep to while away the hours but as soon as she hears a car or a familiar step on the pavement, there she is watching and waiting.

How often have we been in that same spot, waiting and watching.

Waiting to grow up,

Waiting to fall in love,

Waiting to leave home

Waiting to come home

Waiting to marry

Waiting to live your life

Waiting to die

It seems we spend a fair bit of our life in that "on hold" mode. We start early too - "I can't WAIT for Christmas." says a 4-year-old. Already chomping at the bit, ready to jump time ahead to that perfect moment, aka Christmas day.

Patience is a virtue they say. The bible calls it a "fruit of the spirit." One worth nurturing to growth and maturity. If I think back on the number of times I've had to wait for something or someone vs. the number of times something (or someone) responded immediately it is quite clear which way the scales are balanced.

So why do we fight this virtue, this spiritual fruit? Why not let it grow and exercise it and learn to savour the moment in life we are at instead of wishing it away. Any parent will tell you simply blink and your children will be heading out the door and it will seem like only yesterday you were dealing with a terrible 2 year old.

In a couple of months I will be turning 46. This was a bit of a shock as I was convinced I was turning 44 - big difference here. I'm a lot closer to 50 than I thought! There is a very good chance I'm at least half way through my life span, if not more. But I've tried to live my life with patience, savouring each moment, especially the good ones and bearing up under the bad ones. When my sister died so young it left a strong imprint on me of how very fragile life is. I did not want to miss a minute of it. So, like Ami, when I'm waiting I watch - watch everything that's going on, not wanting to miss anything. And like Ami, I also rest.

I hope you are too.

Homesick

2009-09-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

We all have our little fetishes, that's for sure....I certainly do. Let's take my extreme case of homesickness. It strikes me every time I leave home (surprise, surprise). Let me try and explain it.
I'm on vacation, enjoying myself, learning new things, seeing new sights when suddenly it hits. That lump in my throat, that longing in my soul. Tears can even come to my eyes. I want to be home....NOW. Once the family was on a two week vacation on the East coast. We woke up in the morning at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in Charlottetown PEI and I said.."I want to go home." But in my soul it is more like "I want to BE home Now, or I HAVE to be home Now." So my long suffering husband packs us up and we drive straight home 22 hours on the road.
It's not that I can't handle not being home, but believe me, I have to fight the longing almost like an anxiety. I'm good for a couple of days, even a week but I dare not think what more than 2 weeks away from home would do to me.
This is a bit of a problem because I do want to travel and see some of the world, Lord willing. Perhaps if I bite off travelling in 2-week increments I will be OK.
When I do get home, oh how I love to walk through room to room, smell everything and look at everything that is near and dear to me. And then there is sleeping in my own bed, the piece-de-resistance!
I empathize with all those little 7 years olds at their first sleepovers at a friend's house, all the young adults leaving home for the first time, all the elderly who can no longer live safely in their own home.
To all the homebodies and housecats out there, I feel your pain.

Back to the Bike

2009-09-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

Here we are! Picking up speed as we move into the middle of September. Amazingly, we have had the BEST weather in the last two weeks since,oh, I dunno.... let's say May 2006. Good thing to because I am taking my bike more than ever back and forth to work. As the son is now a driver more often than not I am handing over those car keys as I look up into the big choco-ball brown eyes.
So I thought, as I pumped my way through town this past week, I would consider the pluses and minuses of riding a bike. Here is a somewhat inexhaustive list:
PLUS
1) Great for the environment
2) Great for my heart/health
3) Much more tactile than sitting in a car
4) I can smell everything (plus or minus)
5) I seem to think more clearly (plus or minus)
6) It gets easier the more I do it
7) They say you never forget how - a great comfort when dementia start to slip in
8) It only takes me about 5 minutes longer in a car (I am getting better!)
9) It's wonderful, especially in the morning
10)Makes me feel 15 again (please read my book for more info)

MINUS
1) Not for pansys
2) You MUST be on your toes or you will be smucked/crushed and mangled by
a) big bossy diesel trucks
b) kids chatting on their cell phones
c) Little old men wearing hats
3) I can smell everything (plus or minus)
4) I seem to think more clearly (plus or minus)
5) At the end of the day, when the wind has picked up and blowing me back towards work and I have NO Energy - I do not want to bike all the way home
6) Sometimes I actually get sweaty!
7) The funky helmet ruins my hairdo before I even get to work
8) Can't pick up milk/fruit/dog food/bottle of wine on the way home unless I want to stuff it in my knapsack and carry on my back - which I don't want to do.

When I add them all up there are more pluses than minuses. If you haven't ridden a bike lately, pull the old girl out, pump up the tires and give'r a go. I would love to take part in a carfree day with nothing but bikes/people on the road. Here is a blog spot about just such a thing:
http://carfreeusa.blogspot.com/
PS - check out the video and the dude riding the "conference bike". He is wearing a T-shirt that says "Maybe partying will help". Love that T-shirt dude, love that T-shirt!

Saying Goodbye/Saying Hello

2009-09-04T05:25:00.000-07:00

So this past week has been a busy one. We drove our daughter Randi back to University, a good 3 hour drive smack through the middle of Toronto. This is the beginning of her fourth year so I should be getting better at this goodbye thing. I am, really, I am. But still there is that motherly angst when I drive out and leaver her, alone, by herself, in a strange city. Everything in me says "Don't leave your child there alone! What are you doing?? Your job is to look after her, protect her!" But, the fact is she's a grown woman now and my job is not to look after and protect her anymore. And I know that in my mind anyway, just have to move it on down to my heart!
Back at our house things just don't quite feel the same and I miss her presence, but I will get used to it and she will be back for Thanksgiving.
But then half way through this week something happened - a surprise. I come home from work and who should walk in the door but Randi! It seems she hitched a ride to Toronto with friends and from there her boyfriend brought her back home. She doesn't start classes until next week and since she had nothing else to do in St Catharines, back she came.
So in one week I said goodbye and then hello and as of today, it will be goodbye again. I think I hear a Beatles song in there somewhere.....

Kissed by a Bee

2009-08-28T04:58:00.000-07:00

I'm back!!! From holidays, that is - all tanned from the sun and pudgy from the food. I had a wonderful time with family and friends and stored away many happy memories.

Which leads me into today's post. There are some moments in my life that I will never forget. Like old photographs that I review often they stay firmly imprinted in the front of my memory box. I know I have a lifetime of moments stored up there somewhere in my brain but many are dusty photograph books that are only opened occasionally and show up when triggered by something else. While others, well, they seem to always be in the forefront. Like the time I was kissed by a bee.....

It was the summer before I started high school and my girlfriend and I were scoping out the grounds at Trenton High, getting a lay of the land as it were. Around the perimeter was this nice long row of bushes which for some reason seemed like a good place to explore. So in we went crouching and crawling, inching our way along when the next thing we know we are in the midst of bee city and they are none too pleased to have us show up. Much stinging pursued including a big kisser on my lip. It immediately began to swell up (one side only) and amused my mother to no end.

There are random moments that I still see clearly and I have no idea why. I have a very clear memory of being in front of our house in Picton sitting on my bike on a hot summer day. Gino Vanelli is playing "You Gotta Move" on a radio somewhere. I'm about 11 years old.

There are other moments so life changing you will never forget. I remember the last time I saw my sister alive. She had been fighting for her life against cancer and I had promised myself I would never cry in front of her, which I was able to keep, until the very last time. There she was, once a beautiful young woman of 25, now all misshapen and deformed from the ravages of the disease and giving me this sad, pathetically heroic smile, trying to make me feel everything was all right. I was not all right and neither was she and I cried. She passed away the next day.

I clearly remember the amazing moments of giving birth. All this pain and chaos, people yelling at me to Push! Push! And then, suddenly, there is no more pain, stillness and quiet and this precious little being in my arms, looking at me with those slate gray eyes.

Somehow all these moments, good, bad and random make up part of me, who I am and who I have been molded into. In all respects I have thus far been blessed with a wonderful life. Who knows how many more memories and moments I have waiting to be stored ahead.

Vacation Time!!

2009-08-14T05:11:00.000-07:00

I started my vacation today and I have SOOOOO much to do, I don'thave time to blog....there is something wrong with this picture. What about the dusty term known as "relaxing" and "taking it easy"? Isn't that what vacation is all about??
Well it is, but if you are a wife and mother vacation time probably starts with a lot of planning/coordinating/packing/organizing and that's the stage I'm in right now. Oh, I'm sure there is some relaxing and taking it easy time in there but not until I'm about half way through the vacation.
I'm off and running, pulling an Amy, diving in head first or as my Grandma used to say "quick like a bunny" and "pitter patter let's get atter!"

My Frumpy Sweater

2009-08-07T05:13:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Everyone (it's morning for me anyway). Here I am, at the computer. There's Amelia(dog) sleeping in her chair snoring ever so ladylike, chirruping birds and the sound of the wind coming through the window and me, wearing my track pants and shirt and my frumpy sweater. Frumpy sweater you say? What is a frumpy sweater? Well, let me tell you....

A frumpy sweater is one is wear, oh pretty much from the moment I walk in the door after work until bedtime and it's right back on my back first thing in the morning. It's burgundyish, only has two of its original eight button left, two pockets but they have holes in them because Amelia, as a puppy, thought those always prevalent used tissues inside the pockets were as good as digging for gold and she chewed her way through to them; has paint smears on the back because I was wearing it whilst repainting a room (I'm always wearing it) and backed up into a wall, usually has toothpaste dribbled down the front and is covered in cat/dog hair. I know what you are thinking....ewwww....get rid of that frumpy sweater. And you would be right - I should get right of it. My children eye me suspisciously wondering if perhaps Alzheimer's is setting in. They suggest quite strongly it's time for a new sweater. My husband says nothing - he probably knows better. But here's the problem - it's so comfortable, and I'm so comfortable in it. No pretensions, no double checks in the mirror, always waiting for me, warm and fuzzy and hair-covered. It is a habit I can't quite get rid of. I'm sure there was life before my frumpy sweater about 10 years ago, but I can't remember it.
Now here is a faith analogy - If we can just believe there is something new and even better waiting around the corner - that is where the faith comes in. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (according to Hebrews). I just need to chuck this ole sweater and believe in faith there is a new one on the way, even though I can't see it!
So why do I hold on to Frumpy? Well, again, because I'm so comfortable in it, so familiar with it, so used to it. Life without frumpy sweater is an unknown.
But I will tell you what - I will step out in faith and dispose of Frumpy. There is a new one on the way, one Mr. Rogers (who always put a sweater on when he walked in the door) would approve of. Besides, I know that will make my daughter very happy. Here's to taking chances, walking in faith, and being certain of what I can't see!

It's Camping, not Glamping

2009-08-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

Our family loves to go camping and we have been doing so yearly for the past 20+ years. This year we headed to Algonquin Park, near Barron Canyon. Now we need to clarify what we mean by camping. Camping means you pack up your gear, you put the canoe on your car and you head to the nearest lake. After paddling for a while to the other side you put the gear on your back and the canoe on your head and you traverse the woods, carefully avoiding all nasty tree roots and pointy sharp rocks. Then you put all gear back in the canoe and schloop, schloop schloop your way to the other side. Eventually you will end up at a campsite where there are no cars, no radios, certainly no phones or showers or running hot water and no bathrooms. Well, there is a bathroom, but it is a box with a lid in the middle of the woods aka "the magic treasure box." Anyway, it's peaceful, quiet and the waterfront views are amazing. Glamping (glamour camping) is the other kind wherein you drive your car in and set up camp. We found a beautiful campsite complete with a pre-made stone couch, a luxury indeed.

We spent one day hiking/canoeing to a spot where there is a beautiful waterfall (High Falls) and a naturally made waterslide. It's rather odd to be out in the middle of the Canadian wilderness where there is no way to get to unless you hike/canoe or fly in and there are people everywhere hanging out at this waterslide having a ball. I attempted this slide in my 20s and again took it on in my 40s - maybe I will come back again in another 20 years. It was a first for the kids and they loved it!

On our travels we ran into a variety of wildlife: a very friendly fox who met us at the gate, some big hairy spiders in an outhouse which caused me great anxiety as I don't do well with spiders. Also, while Randi was washing up the dishes in the lake it would seem the frying pan caught the interest of a very big turtle. It came right up to us and popped his/her head out. Now I know turtles breathe very slowly, in and out, like divers, but it is kinda water-snuffly. We also met Mr. Bunny at the Magic Treasure Box and a menagerie of chipmunks and birds. I fell asleep listening to a bullfrog carrying on across the lake and the Loons crying and sighing in the distance.

I know our family vacations times will soon be coming to an end. Camping trips like these I will cherish and remember forever.

Confessions of a Cerealaholic

2009-07-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make....actually I could make several, like I have a bad habit of not closing cupboard doors behind me, but there is one I need to get off my chest. I'm a Cerealaholic.

There, I said it, now everyone one knows.

I grew up in a family of 6 (two parents, 4 kids). My parents did not have an abundance of money to spend on raising 4 kids so in the morning cereal consisted of a big box of Corn Flakes or Rice Krispies and often those bland but hugely economical and extremely large bags of puffed wheat. I didn't really care, I ate it all. I did not know Breakfast is the most important meal of the day (which it is), nor could I understand those people who said "I just can't eat anything in the morning." When I got up in the morning it was directly to the cereal cupboard, whereupon I would grab whatever box was up there and probably leave the cupboard door open. Sometimes on cold winter days my Dad would make us hot Oatmeal, Red River or my favorite, Cream of Wheat. When we visited grandparents in Kalamazoo Michigan they would buy us Kix Cereal, something we could not, and still can't, get in Canada. I still remember one drive home in the back of the VW Van with kids running amok as we did not have to wear seatbelts in the 70s and eating a box of Corn Flakes dry, stuffing handfuls into my mouth and crunch, crunch, crunching away.

Then there are those decadent sugary cereals. We were never allowed them as kids. I suspect because they were expensive and 4 kids could wolf down a box in one sitting. But, oh, how I longed for Cracker Jack or Frosted Flakes (They'rrrrre Great) and my all time fave, Cap'n Crunch! I Love, love love Cap'n Crunch. Nevermind the bad spelling, nevermind the fact it contains 13grams of sugar and 230 mg of salt and no fiber to speak of; in my mid40s, I still adore Cap'n Crunch.

Old ingrained habits die hard so once I had children of my own I would also buy the economical, big boxes of Corn Flakes or Rice Krispies and would pass by those heavily laden sugar cereals. I wanted to set a good example for my own kids you see. But at Christmas time I would buy each of them a box of the most sugary cereal, wrap it up and put it under the tree. They make for a cheap Christmas present you know. My kids are now 18 and 21 and they still insist on their box of cereal under the tree.

But now, I buy a box of Cap'n Crunch even when it isn't Christmas, just because I love it so. In fact, I just polished off a couple of boxes this week (they were on sale). I can't help it, I'm a Cerealaholic.

A Sense of Place

2009-07-17T05:18:00.000-07:00

Everyone longs for a sense of belonging, that they are with people who understand them and they are adding value to this earth. But I also need a strong sense of place. If you are wondering what I mean by that, don't feel bad, so am I; Let me try and explain.
I'm acutely aware of my surroundings - not only what it looks like but what it smells like, and what if feels like. Like most human beings I'm attracted to beauty and balance and I love a home with these attributes. When I'm watching a movie I will be just as interested in the setting as I am in the plot and characters. I love the different smells in my house - cookies baking, warm summer dusty smell, coffee. I love little vignettes and attempt to set them up here and there. Yet all this will fall flat if the vibe in the house is off. Consider when you walk into a room and there is an underlying sense of tension and anxiety versus a room filled with peace.
I believe I inherited this from my mother. When Sheldon and I were moving into our first house, an Old Victorian, she wanted to see it, empty, before we moved in. She just wanted to walk through the old girl and take her all in, get her sense of place and history before we started to put our own stamp on it.
This sense of place sometimes haunts me. For nearly 20 years after the fact I would dream about the house I lived in as a teenager. I would walk through every single room, right through the basement and up the back stairs. Every inch of that house seemed to be embedded in my memory and was wont to leave. I would sit on the old water radiator in the living room and look out the window or perch on the stone step on the front porch. It was quite exasperating after a while and has only been the last 5 years or so that the house on Shuter Street is finally fading into the distance!
So this leads me to a conversation with God - one I bring up every now and then. Why, God, do you have me working in an office of cubicles with very few windows and those that are available are sealed shut? I have an idea.....how about sending me to see some of the wonders you created - how about Italy or the somewhere in the mountains? You know how much I would appreciate them!! God has not seen fit to open up these opportunities (yet) but I can still enjoy the beauty and sense of place wherever I am. I can try to add beauty and provide a peaceful haven to my surroundings. And, if I don't get to see the wonders of the world, I suspect heaven is going to knock my socks off!

The Worst Critic

2009-07-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

Tell me if this sounds familiar....here is a typical start to my day. I'm heading somewhere and get out the door, probably into the car when I realize I've forgotten my lunch/keys/something. "Oh!! You idiot!" I mumble to myself under my breath and I berate poor self as I head back into the house to find whatever I'm missing.
I don't know about you but I probably critic in this fashion oh...at least twice a week. I've forgotten something or misplaced an item or generally did not arrange my schedule well or made a bad judgement error "You big dummy!" or maybe something worse is running through my head.
We can be pretty tough on ourselves. Our own worst critic. But why don't we in the same equal value praise ourselves when we figure something out or pull off a whole arrangement smoothly. Why don't we say to selves "Oh, how clever of you!" and "My aren't you a genius!" Believe me, I don't have those types of conversations. But we do, on a daily basis, get things right. We even have moments of brilliance!
Years ago, we had a monster dog named Sam. Sam was a 135 lb golden lab built something like a football player. He weighed more than I did and well, if Sam wanted to go somewhere or do something far be it from me to try and stop him. One morning I was foolishly walking Sam on a leash down the street. I could see coming towards us, another dog and owner out for a walk. This was a problem. I knew Sam was going to probably go running to either meet or eat the dog coming closer and there was nothing I could do about it. I could cross the street but that would not stop Sam. Mere cars meant nothing to him (he was once run over by a truck - I mean right over his back side. He rolled over got up and headed into the house). Then the lightbulb went off, a moment of brilliance! There was a signpost beside me. I wrapped Sam's leash around a couple of times, pulled it taut and held on tight. Now I had leveridge! The other dog and owner had crossed the street (a wise move) but as they came closer Sam barked and barked, lunging for all his might. I held on and voila - I had done the impossible.
Now I'm not suggesting you begin preening your ego, but let's go a little easy - acknowledge the things we do right, even those flashes of genius and lay off calling ourselves idiots or dummys or whatever when we mess up.

Summer Reading

2009-07-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

It is as clear to me as if it was yesterday. The thrill of learning how to read. The wonder I felt when those words in the Dr. Seuss books flowed together and made funny, funky rhyming sounds in my head. Once I mastered the ABC's I was hooked and soon moved on to devouring whatever the country school library had to offer. So off I went on every adventure with Nancy Drew and then overseas for a wild ride with the Black Stallion on a deserted island. I have a few favourites from childhood: "When Marnie Was There" sticks in my head and I'm still looking for that book. "White Summer" was a story about a young girl who moves to the country - I read that one a few times. When I was about 8 or 9 my father would sit the 4 of us down in a circle (my two other sisters and one brother) and read Lord of the Rings to us. I re-read them when I was a teenager and then again in my 30s. In fact in my lifetime we have had one cat named Gandalf and two cats named Frodo! I still have a love for a good fantasy filled with mythical creatures and faeries, dwarves and magic in the woods.
But the days of having the time to read, read, read for hours and hours and hours seem to be as elusive as Tinker Bell as we get older - except in the summer, when I'm on holidays. Let the summer reading begin.
I'm all for self-help and books to increase my knowledge or encourage spiritual growth but in the summer bring on the pure enjoyment of a good story. I want to find myself immersed in a magical land where characters and creatures of all kinds invade my life until I look up and find I'm actually in a tent with sunlight flickering on the nylon or in a car speeding down a highway. I love classics too, like Jane Austen and C.S. Lewis, George Eliot or Wilkie Collins.
I wish you all a warm sunny summer (especially if you live in a climate where winter pervades half the year), and lots of time to read. Stretch out in a hammock, lie down on a damp, sandy towel on the beach or let someone else do the driving and read the hours away! Read what you like but my personal suggestion is leave the indepth, self-help, how-to books for another time and immerse yourself in a tale filled with mystery, and magic, wonder and excitement.

Freedom of a 5-year-old

2009-06-27T04:27:00.000-07:00

It's amazing what you can pick up on as you bike to work......so, the other day as I was biking to work there was this little girl on the sidewalk. She wore a long pretty flowered skirt and a T-shirt. Just as I was going by she stopped, went up on her toes, came down and with one arm gracefully extended and the other crooked in beside made a low, elegant sweeping bow to the sun, or trees or God above, I'm not really sure as there was no one in front of her or nearby for that matter.
Now, if I was walking along and suddenly stopped to do a low sweeping bow for no reason or, maybe a twirl in mid step, what would people think? It's like if you tear down the street full tilt when you are 10 or maybe even 12 it is quite acceptable but once you hit about 15 and you tear down the street full tilt, people generally suspect you are either a) stealing something or b) running away from something you shouldn't have done. There is great freedom in childhood: you can skip down the street (try doing that when you are in your 40s), you can run, if you want to, or sing at the top of your lungs.
Again, the other day as I was biking to work I came across a couple. They were well dressed, in their mid 30s and just heading down the sidewalk in an indepth conversation. Nothing wrong with that - but they were also both pushing little scooters. They pushed along, one foot swinging to push and keep the momentum going while the other stayed stationery on the scooters all the while just having a nice morning chat. They showed no self-consciousness to their actions which made me think - "sure, why not ride scooters to work, who cares how old you are or what you are wearing?" But it did look, well odd to me; Biking sure, roller blading even, but scooters?
As we get older we are molded into norms and society's comfortable rules. We become self-conscious of our actions and how we look to others. Oh, the freedom to be 5 again!
Last week on Father's Day the family when paint balling. I want you to know I was fully covered - coveralls, gloves, head gear. But there was one spot I was not. So, as I was walking back to my team after a game I was shot by a team mate (friendly fire) at close range (about 10 feet) right in the throat. If I may make a suggestion, tell your kids to wear turtle necks, or something. The girls at work, most of whom are nurses, scolded me telling me I could have crushed my larynx or damaged my voice box. After a little while of having difficulty breathing I came out all right and continued the game. But what I was left with was a huge wound to my neck and looked like a really big hickey! Talk about self-conscious!

Bull Dog Tenacity

2009-06-19T05:05:00.000-07:00

Today is a bit of a milestone for the Crowders. Today is Adrian's Prom - yes my baby is graduating Grade 12 and the Big Grand Finale is tonight. Basically, I have to face the fact that my kids are, well, grown up. I've held on, I've run the race, the finish line is in sight. We will soon be moving into a new era - one that involves a new focus toward couplehood and less on parenthood.
I was reading Cheryl's blog on Habits and would like to think one of my more positive ones is perserverance. During World War II Churchill put it this way "We shall never surrender!" In the 70s some groovy person made a poster with a kitten dangling by it's front paws with "Hang In there Baby!" on the bottom. God, always the story teller, writes in Scripture in Luke 18:3 about a bull-dog tenacious widow who crys for Justice over and over again until the Judge finally gives her his attention.
Early in the morning, as I'm discussing life with Jesus and the best made plans of mice and Cyndi, there is my cat Frodo, at the front door looking at me, to the door, to me, to the door. Then he starts with his Purr/meow that kinds of comes out "purrrreowll?" over and over again. So even though I'm in deep discussion with the God of Heaven, even though I'm talking with the one through whom I live and move and have my being, the One who holds my very life breath in His hands, I will get up, put Jesus on hold, and let the cat out. Why - because Frodo will not give up - he will keep harping at me to open that door until I simply can't think straight and focus.
The moral of the story is of course to keep praying, keep believing, and perservere. The other option is to stop praying, stop believing and give up - and where's the fun in that? "Never Surrender!"

The Power of Senses!

2009-06-12T04:51:00.000-07:00

I planted a new rosebush this year and what a beauty it is - even better it has this wonderful peachy scent. My peonies are also opening up this week and their heady perfume hits you when you walk out the front door. I love using all my senses, they are a gift that makes life all that more wonderful.

A few years ago I was in a rather nasty boating accident. It went something like this "Boy they are coming up pretty fast behind us" followed by "I don't think they are going to Stop!" and ended with "Oh My Gosh there's a boat on top of me!!" With the protection of God above and Sid Molenaar who happened to be in front of me and helped to ramp the boat overtop and not directly into me (thanks again Sid!) I came away with nothing but a bang on my head. The only lasing effects is, well, my sense of smell is kind of wonky. It still works but in a weird way. I can't really explain it except that smells seem to get stuck in my head and will stick with me for days. This is lovely if it's a lovely smell - not so nice when it's an icky smell.

As I was biking to work the other day a delivery truck full of fresh bread happened to throw open the back door of the truck just as I was going by and this amazing scent of fresh bread hit me full in the face. How can you not appreciate that! I love the smell of clean sheets, a dusty old house on a hot summer day, fresh baked cookies and coffee, pine trees and water that remind me of camping or cottaging, cleaned and polished babies right after bathtime. I love the smell of snow, of snow melting in springtime, a dewy spring morning and a crisp fall day. I could go on and on. Nothing will take you back faster in time then your sense of smell. Get out there and breath in people, breath in!

Searching for Donkeys, Found Destiny

2009-06-05T05:03:00.000-07:00

Let's all start this month with a deep breath......and relax....it's June. Let's just slow things down a bit, shall we? Especially you, Amy - easy girl on how many things to accomplish in one day. And I thought I was bad! Sheesh!

I wanted to share something God is revealing to me in His most wonderful way of late. It's no surprise to anyone Life is full of unexpected twists and turns - some good, some not so good. Let's take Samson, for example. Here is a big strapping, good looking lad just doing what big, strapping good-looking lads do hanging around the house. So his father, no doubt in an effort to get him moving, sends him off with a servant to find some missing donkeys. They are not having much luck and are considering giving up the search when the servant suggests they chat with the prophet Samuel who happens to be in the area. Well they do this and the next thing you know Samuel advises Samson not only are the donkeys home but he has been chosen to be anointed the first King of Israel. I'm pretty sure Samson did not see that one coming. God has some wonderful plans for all of us and they may show up when we least expect it! He is preparing open doors, changing the scenery, making connections all behind the scenes that we may not be aware of until one day the curtain opens up and there is a complete change in Destiny! Let's do our best to keep our hearts pliable and our ears open to His direction.

But here is another example - Jesus says to his disciples one day to get in the boat and head across the lake to the other side. Sounds like a good plan - a lovely sail across the lake with the King of the Universe. But again, things turn out differently - the King is sleeping and the weather turns very nasty. It gets to the point where the disciples are thinking this is the end and they are all going to a watery grave.

One day you may be going about your business and then there is a phone call and someone says "there's been an accident" or "it's cancer." And the storm around you begins to overwhelm and the King of the Universe seems to be sleeping. Here is where our faith is tested to the utmost. Is God still working behind the scenes, making connections, changing the scenery? Just like the first example, you may not see what God is doing but rest assured, He is not sleeping. He will still carry you through. And like the Samson, your life will never be the same. What I find ironic about the disciples in the boat is after Jesus wakes up and calms the whole situation, after a night of chaos and near-death experience they land on the other side only to be greeted by an insane maniac who tears his clothes and breaks off chains. You just never know, do you...

On a completely different vein for all those waiting with baited breath on how the big 50th Anniversary Party went, we pulled it off. It was quite chilly outside and it rained a bit but my parents were more than pleased. Special thanks to my sister Heather, for all her help, for Shaun and Holly and Fran's advice, for Sheri helping with fancy sandwiches and for Sheldon supporting all the way and pitching in to make it a success. Here are a couple pictures!

It's D Day (Weekend)

2009-05-29T04:46:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are, the end of May and that means "D" Day or "Da Big Partay in My Back Yard".
I'm sure you have all been on the edge of your seat wondering if Cyndi will actually be ready...will the garden look OK....can she pull this off?? Or, is this the beginning of a beautiful disaster!!
There has been a lot of hard work put into the garden and last night Shaun and Holly came over and gave me the "thumbs up!" Yes, it could still use a fair bit of cleaning up but I think we are good to go. I'm now moving onto to buying food, preparing food, decorations and general house cleaning. My sister Heather has come down to help out - God Bless Her. Now, all I need is a rainless Sunday - and lawn chairs if anyone has any extra...Stay tuned fellow bloggers - the countdown has begun.
Did I mention this is the end of May - when did that happen!! Probably the same way my parents turned around and found they had been married for 50 years.
Well this Housecat would love to mews more news but I'm busy, busy, busy - like the Mad Hatter himself. In fact, by the end of the weekend I may very well be the Mad Hatter embodied.

Multi-Tasking Monster

2009-05-15T05:04:00.000-07:00

May is one of my favourite months! What other time of the year can you see purple and pink frothy trees? Or be kissed again for the first time in nearly 6 months by a warm summer breeze? You can see flowers springing up before your eyes and grass as green as Ireland. It's not too cold for those of you who don't like frigid temperatures and it's not too hot for those of you who don't like to swelter. Truly, it is a heavenly month and one I like to savour. But I'm sooooo busy right now; I have so many things on the go; I'm a multi-tasking Monster and May is flying by!
A fair chunk of my job consists of arranging for meetings. Video-conferences to numerous sites, teleconferences between numerous people, real live meetings between real live people. I have to arrange rooms, book equipment, send out agendas, photocopy hand-outs, get the coffee ready etc. etc. Now that's all OK with me - I love to organize and there is a lot of meetings going on right now at work. But on top of that I'm also helping to arrange a Retirement Party for one of the ladies at work, my son's birthday party and of course, my parents 50th Wedding Anniversary that has me desperately trying to get my garden in order.
So that got me thinking about a Day in God's Life and the amount of multi-tasking He's got beneath His Wings. "Let's see...." God says to Jesus....."Today we have 353,176 new humans being born, we have 128,772 to welcome home and Oh yes....we can't forget the 82,354 celebrations we have today with the Angels for all those people who have accepted You into their hearts! - Always a good party!!"
It's is a good thing there are 3 of them (Father, Son and Holy Ghost) and a good thing They are Omnipotent!
As there are not 3 of me and I'm definitely not Omnipotent, I'm getting a little concerned I may mix up a few things.....It could be my Son may end up with a lovely Retirement Brooch and a nice garden party for his Birthday and my 70-year-old parents and their friends will find themselves in Camouflage gear playing Paintball.....I'm going to have to be careful with all these balls in the air....perhaps I should arrange videoconference for everyone so they can all share everything vicariously!
I do love May but this one is passing me by. I'm barely getting a chance to enjoy it. On the other hand I believe God is orchestrating all this because He wants to keep me busy, keep my mind off of things. Well, I'm not a God but I am a Woman and multi-tasking is what we do. So bring it on....I will make lists, write myself notes and hopefully everyone that is supposed to will end up with a teacup in the garden, a paintball gun in hand and enjoy a lovely Retirement Dinner with their co-workers!

Moving Day

2009-05-08T04:46:00.000-07:00

Now that the weather is decent I'm back to riding my bike to work. It's lovely in the morning - there is usually no wind to fight and my energy level is high. I bit harder at the end of the day. Generally there is a wind pushing me backwards and my 40+ year old body is not very keen on aerobic exercise after working all day.

One of the benefits of bike riding (for those of you who have read my book - just a little plug) is how you have time to see all the details of what's going on in the world that you ride through. The other day I pedalled past a big moving van parked in front of a house. It's a stately Georgian-style home and not one I would leave willingly. The van was open at the back and still pretty empty but there were blankets ready to bundle up a family's treasures and the men trundled back and forth from the open door of the house to the open door of the van, up the ramp and nestled the furniture into the back.

Moving day can be exciting, tiring, anticipated and stressful. Like most people, I've seen my share of moves. Lately we are in the cycle of moving daughter Randi somewhere at the beginning of each new school year and then moving her out and home at the end and then we start all over again in the fall.

Spiritually God is in the process of moving me. And, yes - it's exciting, tiring, anticipated and stressful. Moving means I'm going somewhere new and learning new things. I'm anticipating what is in store for me but it's also stressful. Moving means I have to leave other things behind; things I might want to keep. I once heard a speaker say "God is not a Happy Camper." In other words, He's not one to park it and stay put. He's like that big Atlas Moving Van picking us and all our baggage up and moving us to something new and different.

If you know someone who's in the process of moving - spiritually or otherwise, do your best to lend a helping hand. Support and encourage them as best you can. Moving Day is a lot easier when you have friends around.

Just to update you on my Garden dilemma - thanks for the advice, I will be calling Holly!! A lady from work came over and helped me arrange a few planters to put on the patio. She said what everyone says....."It's really overgrown" and "I've never seen anything quite like it." I cleaned and filled the pond and set up the fountain and we bought a little Cherub to sit on the edge. I've decided to name him "Chad The Cherub." So, here is a picture of "The Chad",doing what he does best. I also took a picture of the magnolia tree in my neighbor's yard (a little garden envy here).

I've got 31 days....

2009-05-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

SOS...SOS....My parents 50th wedding anniversary is the end of May and guess who's back yard they have decided to have the party in?? Well, I DID say I would help in any way. Of course I was thinking getting the balloons, arranging some little sandwiches, tea and coffee etc. I was not thinking Hostess with the Mostess.
We bought our house 5 years ago from a sweet little retired (note retired) dutch couple who had all the time in the world to putter in their extensive gardens. And, I might add, they were darn good at it. How very fortunate for us to inherit such lovely gardens. How very unfortunate for the gardens to inherit us. There are perennials in abundance coming up who knows where and I-don't-know-when. There is a lovely little pond in the middle that in my memory was a show-stopper when we looked at the house. There was a lovely little fountain in there and real goldfish! Now, after 5 years, frumpy is the word I would use to describe it. And to top it all off, our Amelia-Bedelia loves to do laps around and around the pond effectively destroying all grass and leaving lots of space for the weeds to move in.
So, in a desperate attempt to make this backyard worthy of a 50th wedding anniversary, there I was last night in the pouring rain clipping the rosebushes (I hope you are supposed to do that) and spreading grass seed around followed by topping it with fresh soil - I've seen other people do this so I think this is what you do. HELP - I am not a gardener. I'm open to any suggestions short of moving out and giving the gardens a break. Please people....I've got 31 days...

Some Housecats Live Forever

2009-04-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce you to a few good friends of mine. There is Amelia, a hound/beagle cross who is my biggest fan, Frodo one of the coolest cats on earth and somewhat of a mentor to this housecat, and then there is Claire a cat that seems to live forever.

I have had many pets over the years providing me with unconditional love and companionship, each with their own unique personality and a joy to me. I'm sorry to say, Claire, the cat that just keeps on going like the Energizer Bunny, has not been one of them. Not that she does not have her own charms, small as they may be, but from the day she arrived in my arms, a little calico beauty with more gumption than I could possibly imagine, she has at best been miserable. Claire, along with her brother had been dumped at the side of a country road when a coworker of mine came across them. Her brother had not survived but they brought Claire home and began to nurse her back to life. Knowing I had a penchant for Calico cats, this little fluff ball eventually landed at my house to spend the rest of her life. She was always somewhat on the defensive side and wanted very little to do with human interaction of any kind. But she was awful cute and feisty too! Generally a Good Morning greeting to Claire with any attempt to show affection was reciprocated with a very grumpy "Back off" growl/meow. We learned to just leave her alone. She would rarely go outside (a true housecat) but slept in the sunbeams and be a general curmudgeon around the house. She became quite fat and her beautiful coat of many colours prompted me to nick-name her the big fat geisha. Now I'm not one to give up on an animal so we carried on with her. Pets came and went and after a few sharp scratches soon picked up on the fact that this family member was not interested in playing whatsoever. When she hit about age 12 the Vet pointed out to me she could really use her teeth cleaned. "Naw.." I thought. "I'm not about to spend money cleaning 12-year-old cat teeth. She's not likely to survive another 2 years". About 5 years ago we moved into town and soon Amelia entered out lives. Claire, by all respects an old curmudgeon at this point, was not happy with this floppy eared bouncy puppy so she picked up and moved to the basement and basically stayed there. Many people did not even know we had a calico cat. Every now and then she would stomp up the stairs and meow at me angrily letting me know she needed more food or water and I would comply.

Well here we are; Claire is now pushing 17 years old. She has gotten a lot thinner and actually mellowed out a bit. She now comes upstairs but still lets Amelia know who's boss and she purrs like a nuclear machine contstantly. She will huddle up to us on the couch, probably seeking warmth. There is a warning look in her eye you must be aware of that means she could turn on you and slice you open if you are not careful and she still grumbles and complains. Claire poops and pees and throws up in places I would rather she didn't and every year when it comes time to visit the Vets I consider....should I have her put down? But the family has decided we will see just how long this cat survives. In all respects, other than the fact she moves like a 100+ year old woman, she is still going strong. I never expected that the cat I would own the longest would be the most miserable, grumpiest, unfriendliest thing I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. So for all of you wondering - yes Claire is still alive and kicking. Kudos to Claire - she has shown me the true meaning of tenacity.

One in Five

2009-04-16T04:51:00.000-07:00

Perhaps you have heard such comments as: "God broke the mould when he made you!" or "there's no one else like you!" or how about " You're one in a Million!" It's nice to know we are unique and special and that on this earth not another single person is exactly like you. Sigh.....sadly these are not the kind of comments I hear. It's seems I'm rather generic. It seems there a many, many people out there who look a lot like me.
It started when I was a teenager. I would be walking down the street and some unknown would be waving wildly at me yelling "Hey Heidi!!". My sister Heidi and I were only 1 1/2 years apart and granted we looked a lot alike - same hair colour, same shape, pretty much the same size, same pointed Italian chin. So after hearing this a lot I just simply started waving back and saying Hey right back. Why fight it? Why try and yell back "I'm not Heidi!" Now this is an acceptable mistake as we could pass for twins. But as I reached my 20s things started to get worse. I was waitressing and I can't tell you how many times people would walk in, stare, move closer and then begin to ask random question like "are you -----" or "do you know ----". Then it would move onto " you look just like -----." After a while I would just sign and nod. Yes, I know, I look just like you cousin Mabel in Iowa or Suzanne in Toronto. Things finally started to simmer down in my 30s. Perhaps I was finally becoming my one unique self. But lately it has started up again....A lady at church came up to me the other day.
"So, how are you enjoying living in Wellington?"
"I don't live in Wellington" I tell her.
"Oh...." she says with a puzzled look and then she trys another tactic. "So how is Judy doing?" I'm beginning to see where this is leading "I don't know a Judy." I tell her. And then I know what is coming next....
"You look just like so and so who lives in such and such!"
I have come to accept that I'm one of God's more generic models. I like to think that He felt this was such a fine specimen He would make a number of them with very few changes or upgrades! When my daughter was about 5 I had brought her into my workplace one day and a coworker exclaimed "Wow, Cyndi...you've been cloned!" See, that just proves my point.
I'm not one in a million but by my guesstimation I'm about one in five!

Brave Little Crocuses

2009-04-08T04:47:00.000-07:00

The past couple of days have been mostly cold and miserable with a fair bit of snow. Everyone stares out the window and sighs.....where o where is springtime? The weatherman calls this "winter's last gasp." It feels more like winter's last jab in my ribs!

But there for all the world to see or for anyone who walks up the pathway to my house are a group of little crocuses bravely facing the winter snow showing off their lovely colours. They huddle together in solidarity to stay warm and seem to proclaim "We will not be ignored. It's springtime winter and your time is up!"

Bravo brave little crocuses! I admire your spunk! May I learn a lesson from you all that no matter what the world says I will stand up for what is right.

Let the Blogging Begin!

2009-04-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

Why does one Blog? Good Question.....certainly would not have asked myself that one 10 years ago as the word "blog" was not in my vocabulary. Am I bowing to pressure? Am I scratching an itch? For the sheer pleasure of writing? Probably a bit of each! But mostly because this house cat does a lot of musing and all these thoughts get swirling around looking for the big Exit sign.

I love to write, I love to read, I love music and I love photography. I love this amazing life that God has given me. I thought I might share a bit of it with you so please, come on in, pull up a chair and feel free to join me.